#I'm glad someone's listening and enjoying my bullshit ;;

[marvelingjules]

19 for the romance asks

19. talking late into the night

And we're doing Buddie with this. Because I want to lol.

——

I found this in my drafts from months and months ago and can’t fully remember where I was going with it but hey! Enjoy? lol.

I haven’t watched the latest season so, keep that in mind.

——

"You know, somehow I thought birthday parties would get easier as he got older," Buck said, dropping onto the couch after the last trash bag full of napkins, plates, cake, and wrapping paper had been taken out.

Eddie snorted, storing the vacuum in the hall closet. "Why's that?"

"I dunno," Buck said, scratching at his chin. "Just. Little kids, cake - makes me think of them running wild on a sugar rush."

"Instead we get preteens that want to do wild stunts every five minutes." Eddie came and sat on the couch next to him, groaning quietly. "Thanks. For helping," he added, tilting his head on the back of the couch to look at Buck. It was soft, fond, with that little smile that was the one Eddie got when he was feeling content and relaxed.

Buck swallowed the tightness in his throat, a mix of nerves and longing. It might have taken him a while to realize just what that might mean, but he knew the chances of anything coming of it were beyond slim. And he'd rather keep the Diazes in his life than not.

"Hey, anytime," he said, glad it came out easily. "Not like I had other plans."

Eddie hummed. "Thought you were dating - Natalia, right? You trying to tell me you didn't have plans on a Saturday night we weren't working?" He raised a brow.

"Uh, no." He blinked. "I mean, no, we're not - uh, we were but..."

Frowning slightly, Eddie straightened, turning to face Buck on the couch. "But...?"

Buck grimaced. "You know when someone says something, and later they - take it back, I guess, say they were wrong and act like it's different. And you wanna believe that, but.... But you can't forget it? Like it's stuck in your head, like those sticker weeds?"

Eddie's stare was focused, listening. Buck almost looked away, and did when Eddie asked, "What did she say?"

"Uh... our first date - I told you it didn't really go great."

"Yeah. You said she was put off by the whole past girlfriends and sperm donor thing."

"She was." Buck sighed. "What she said specifically it's - it's not important, just - it didn't seem fair, to her, to constantly be worried what would be the thing to be too much again."

"Not fair to you either," Eddie said mildly. "You deserve someone that ain't gonna run just cause we lead crazy lives sometimes."

"Yeah well... I'm still winning out on the crazy."

Eddie raised his brows.

"Truck, embolism, tsunami, lightning," he listed off, keeping it light and joking. "Surprised none of you think I'm a jinx."

"Jinxes aren't real," Eddie said, like Buck expected. "And even if they were, wouldn't matter. I'd still have your back."

Buck swallowed. "I know," he admitted quietly. And then, even quieter, a confession he'd barely admitted to himself in the darkest hours of the worst nights, "I don't think I could keep doing this if you weren't there with me."

Eddie reached out, hand landing on Buck's shoulder, squeezing. His thumb stroked over the edge of his collarbone. Looking almost painfully, fiercely earnest, Eddie said, "I'll keep saying it till we're old and senile, Evan. I'm not going anywhere. No matter what."

"Y-yeah," Buck said, mentally cursing at the stutter, and how he couldn't look away from Eddie's stare, from the heat he could feel building in his cheeks. "I know."

Shaking his head, Eddie said, "I don't think you do, not really." Sighing heavily, Eddie said, "I ever tell you what my folks said to me, before I left Texas?" When Buck shook his head, Eddie nodded, lips pressing together for a moment. He glanced away, but then back, looking almost stern. "They told me I was going to drag Chris down with me."

Buck sucked in a breath, furious, ready to tell Eddie exactly what kind of bullshit that was - but Eddie squeezed his shoulder again, a silent request not to speak.

"I was so scared they were right. Even as I moved Chris here with me, I felt - I felt like it was only a matter of time until I fucked up, did just as they said. I was floundering, Buck, felt like I was one bad day from drowning.” His lips quirked and he raised his brows. “And then you came along, and without me ever needing to say anything, let alone ask… you threw me a life preserver. Over and over again, you were there. I don’t think - I’m not sure you realize how much what you’ve done for us, for me, over the years has made a difference.”

“Eddie, I-“

“I’m not going anywhere, Buck, cause I don’t want to know what a life without you in it looks like.”

Buck’s breath shook as he inhaled, a prickling feeling at his eyes and nose, throat tight. He tried to say something, anything, but his mind was blank and he closed his mouth uselessly.

Eddie’s eyes searched his, focus intense. Buck wondered just how much he saw, how much of an open book he was.

“You never have to worry that one day it’s gonna be too much. That you’re gonna be too much. Not with me. Okay? Cause unless you decide to go full supervillain on me, I can’t imagine anything separating us.” Then he grinned, teasing. “And even then, I might join you instead.”

Buck laughed, and maybe it was a little wet, but Eddie didn’t comment on it. Buck finally leaned into Eddie’s hand, just a bit, and sighed when Eddie shifted the grip to instead toss an arm over his shoulders, yanking him in.

Closing his eyes, Buck savored the closeness, the smell of Eddie’s cologne and laundry detergent, the warmth both physical and not. Unlike earlier, when words had escaped him, now they crowded up on his tongue, pushing to spill out, filling his mind.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

He wouldn’t say them. Eddie wouldn’t mean it like Buck would, wouldn’t understand how Buck meant it if he spoke them. And maybe later that would be okay. But in the moment Buck felt - fragile, almost.

And he didn’t want to ruin the moment, the late night pressing in, the comfort of what had been said earlier.

“C’mon,” Eddie said, voice low and a little raspy, probably from exhaustion. “Let’s go to bed.” He tugged Buck up, then down the hall to his room.

“I can… the couch?”

“Not tonight,” Eddie said after a moment. “Okay? Not tonight.”

Buck didn’t know really what that meant, except that Eddie apparently wanted him close, and Buck wanted it too. So he just said, “yeah, sure. Of course.”

[uglypastels]

Corroded Coffin, The Game of Lost Souls (1993)

Love them or hate them, there is no escaping Corroded Coffin. With chart toppers that occupy each radio in the country and controversies following them left and right, good luck finding someone who is not talking about the band these days. But what do the rockers have to say for themselves? To find out, our editors sat down for a conversation with Jeff, Eddie, Gareth and Dougie, spanning all topics from their upcoming new album, The Game of Lost Souls (available in your local record stores this month), to hopes for the future as well as a look back on their previous hits and falls + much much more!

I'm glad everyone could finally join us here, and I'm sure this question has been on your minds since then, so why not get it out of the way? What exactly happened at the AMAs?

J.P. - Boooo [laughs]. C'mon, next question.

The people demand answers, boys. It is, after all, not often that a broadcast gets shut down like it did that day.

E.M. - People demand entertainment. They want scandal and drama. They jump to conclusions and get angry about it, but the second they know and it turns out not to follow the narrative they dreamt up, they'll be just as angry.

But you can't say the same about the hotel room incident last month that was all over the glossy pages; it was all just a dreamt-up narrative by the tabloids, can you?

E.M. - Oh, no. That was completely my fault. But no worries, I paid for the damage.

I'm sure our readers will be happy about that. Then, let's move on to something you can talk about: the new album. How was it getting back in the studio for a third time? Were you nervous?

D.T. - You can say that. After Cryptic we doubted we'd ever set a foot back in there.

Because it wasn't as successful as you had hoped?

D.T. - Yeah, sure. [...] It was tough to get back to the right mindset. It's what helped make our first album what it is, but chasing that sort of high only sets you further back, and it took us a while to realise that.

So, what's different now? Why do you think it will work this time.

E.M. - We don't! As an artist, making something and putting it out there in the world is the biggest gamble you can make. All we can do is hope for the best and that it won't blow up in our --- faces.

But are you happy with the result you're bringing out? Proud?

J.P. - Abso----lutely. We've learned from our mistakes, taken all the feedback we could get without wanting to shoot our bloody brains out, and made the music we wanted to make.

G.R. - Yeah, we're back on our regular bullshit, baby, and I think the fans will see that too.

Any tracks you're most excited for people to listen to? And why?

G.R. - I think the people who sent me all those letters- if you know you know- last year will really enjoy "Scream for Initiative", especially the bridge.

D.T. - "Decade" and "The High Cliff" are great. They might be something new for us, but I think the fans will enjoy them.

E.M. - I would suggest everyone to put "Kneel and Pray" on their next sex mixtape, at least if you're into that kind of freaky shit. And yead, can't wait for everyone to hear "The High Cliff." I think we pulled off something great with that one.

J.P. - For me, it would have to be the title track, man. It just pulls everything together on the album. I got to go all out on the solo, which is always great fun. I definitely can't wait to play that one on tour.

Speaking of a tour, there had been speculation that there might not be one, but that is not true?

G.R -. I would like to think that there would be a tour no matter what we do because performing our music is why we do it and put up with everything else. But at the end of the day, there is much more to it than just us, and sometimes it doesn't go as planned, but the will is definitely there.

E.M. - I beg people to stop reading all this shit- except Black Market, of course - you're not gonna get anything good out of it. if you want fantasy, go read The Hobbit.

J.P. - It is pretty exhausting to walk past a newsstand and see that every cover and headline is another made-up story about you.

I'm sure it is, what's the weirdest one you saw come up?

J.P. - They're not all that bad. I like the ones where it turns out I'm secretly dating supermodels and actresses. It's nice to know that the public at least thinks I have some game.

D.T. - That's because the person who makes up those rumours has never met you. If they had, they'd come to their senses.

G.R. - I liked the one that suggested that Eddie made out with a dog.

E.M. - Yeah, I think they mistook your mom for it.

Let's keep it nice, boys.

E.M. - Sorry, sorry. [laughs]

[rest of the interview not found]

- the Corroded Coffin Archive (Source: Black Market Magazine)

[mybworlds]

Bittersweet

CHAPTER 1

status: ongoing

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: your life is full of 'must'. You live with your overprotective mother who controls every aspect of your life. You have a dream, to write romance novels, but love - real love - you haven't found yet. Your mother has even decided what you must do in your free time: play music. One day, however, when you go to your music teacher's house, you will have an unexpected encounter and from that day on things change…

rating: 18+ explicit (minors, DNI)

Before to start... Hello people, I know there are other two ff that I already started, but I dreamt this new idea for my new ff. So I decided to write it down it. So here we are. If you want to let me know what you think about it I'd be glad to read you.

No offence pls, if you dislike it go away :)

Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner

You always dreamed of doing something special, of being the person who would make a difference in the world….

So you hoped.

You hoped to become a great writer of romance novels, and you hoped to instill hope in the hearts of young people not to give up in the face of love and the possible obstacles that may arise.

But not all dreams come true.

In fact, you ended up working in a small bar on the outskirts of your town, surrounded by the many stories of the many diners who populate the place during the daytime or evening hours--depending on the shifts. These stories are the most different, and cannot help but feed your wild imagination.

In the evening, when you are not on shift, you write dozens and dozens of stories on your computer: some are shorts, some are very long and have happy endings, some less. It depends on your mood and how you imagine certain events you've witnessed or heard will end.

"I'm home!"

Your mother has just returned from a nearly seventy-two-hour shift at the hospital, she works in emergency medicine, and - since your father died (or at least she always said) - when she's not at home, you have to do everything, housework and bar work, grocery shopping, paying bills.

"Hi, Mom."

You absentmindedly greet her by putting down your computer glasses and crinkling your eyes in exhaustion.

"Did you buy groceries?"

The usual string of questions starts, to which you always answer with a distracted yes. You are almost 30 years old, but sometimes you feel like you are 40s or even 50s. Sometimes you think you would just like to enjoy youth, to be carefree, light-hearted, you would like to be free even to make mistakes, and instead you feel caged in this life. In a life where the only rule is you must.

"So you're okay with that?" your mother suddenly asks, making you get your feet back on the ground.

"What?" you ask confused.

"You might even listen to me for once!" blurts out Mom.

"I just got distracted for a second!" you exclaim trying to catch up.

Mom snorts, "I asked you if you were free tomorrow for your guitar lesson."

Ah yes, the exhilarating guitar lessons!

Mom, ever since Dad left (but she always said it was as if he was dead), has demanded that you take piano lessons first and guitar lessons later, like your father. You can't understand your mother, sometimes she seems to hate your father, sometimes she doesn't.

About love, you've always wanted it to be forever. Maybe it's just some romantic bullshit you always watched in movies or read in books, but you want to believe that there really exists out there for you, someone who is willing to love you for a lifetime. Too bad you haven't found anyone so far who is willing to love you the same way you love, to want you the way you want!

Going back to your guitar lessons, your teacher is a bit of a peculiar guy, a bit of a loner, a lover of many things and one opposed to the other. He's -- you don't know exactly how to define him. You've never been able to decipher him. He seems gruff, but at the same time he has a good side and probably deep down sweet.

Very deep down.

"Yes, don't worry." Mom, ever since he left, has become overprotective in some ways with you, has demanded to control you even though you are not so young anymore, wants to know what you read, what you see, what you do. It may seem normal, perhaps, for a mom to try to get to know what her child does, but not the way she does. If you are evasive for one reason for another, she becomes a hound, suffocating almost. Once she even demanded to read a chat you created with friends fearing that you might be in touch with a man much older than you, and instead she found herself a chat where you were exchanging sometimes funny and sometimes even private messages with some of your close friends from school, which even embarrassed you, but mom justified herself by saying she was doing it for you. She even banned you from driving for fear that you might have a car accident! You have a driver's license, but your mother won't even let you drive around town. She always has to be the one to drive you. These manias of hers are suffocating!

"Good. Do you have money to pay for it?" she asks you.

"Yes, don't worry," you reply, going to prepare dinner.

"We have to be very punctual or I'll be late for the hospital," she informs you.

"Do you have another night?" you ask her "It will be the fifth time in a month! But didn't there used to be shifts once even in the hospital?" you ask again as you prepare some pasta.

"Yes, but -- you know, there are only a few of us and then there are even more emergencies than usual."

You follow your mother with your eyes as you see her typing on her cell phone. Your mother sometimes looks like the young woman and you look like the mom.

What an unfair life!

The next day your life flows as usual, you get up very early, make coffee bringing it also to your mother, go to shower, get dressed and go to work.

At the café there is the usual hustle and bustle, who wants coffee, who wants a croissant, who wants a slice of pizza, who wants something else. You don't have a moment to yourself. Only when it's almost lunchtime now, you stop and go to the back of the store to eat your sandwich and smoke. Yes, you smoke. The only real transgression in your life. If your mother found out she would probably kill you, but you don't care smoking makes you feel good and maybe it makes you feel good because it's a decision you made, not because it was forced on you.

You rub one temple and look toward the road covered with a hint of snow. You wonder what you would have been doing by now if you had not been there with your mother, if maybe you were busy in college or maybe in pursuing some master's degree, you wonder who you might have been if you had dared to live your life to the fullest.

In the afternoon, your mother - after making sure you are dressed appropriately, that you have sheet music and whatnot - drops you off in front of your teacher's building.

The latter lives on the top of seven floors, it's practically a penthouse, it's beautiful place. Being with him -- a little less so.

When you knock, you are about to greet him, but a completely different man from your teacher appears in front of you. He is tall, much taller than your teacher and you, curly brown hair, dark eyes, a look that is at first grim, then curious, defined jaw line and curved nose. He is perhaps 40 years old.

You stand open-mouthed, thinking you had the wrong house for a moment, then realizing it's the right address.

"I was looking for Mr. Miller," you say.

"In person." he replies.

"Tommy Miller," you say.

"I'm his brother." he says again.

You are about to say something, but he is the one who interrupts you by asking if you are his student and calling your name, you nod in confusion.

"My brother had to leave yesterday morning. He told me you were coming and to wait for you to let you know." he clarifies by placing his hands on his hips.

He is incredibly muscular; you have never seen a man like him. He hits you right away.

"I see. Then -- I'll go." ready to leave.

You make to turn your back to him "Did Mommy tell you not to talk to strangers?" he asks making you turn back to him "I saw you get out of your mother's car." he adds noticing your confused look.

"What did you say?" you ask in annoyance.

You see him smirking and cross his arms "Are you afraid the big bad wolf will eat you?"

You wrinkle your forehead "First, I don't even know who you are." you say moving a couple of steps closer to him "And second…"

"Joel." he introduces himself by extending his hand.

"You're creepy -- Joel," you say looking first at his hand and then at his face.

"You, on the other hand, are shy." he notes looking at you and running his gaze over your figure. No one has ever looked at you like this. Making your skin warmed. "Yes, you are a shy little one." he adds, smiling and making wrinkles appear on the sides of his eyes.

"Your brother is definitely nicer," you say.

Lie. Tommy has always been very much on his own.

He just bends his head to the side, "Funny, people always told me I'm the nice one of the Miller brothers."

Gotcha.

"Well, maybe they never really knew you!"

"And you in less than a minute figured out who am I?" he asks, leaving you speechless.

No, you know very well that you cannot judge anyone in less than a minute. If someone had judged you in less than a minute they probably would have dismissed you as an ordinary young woman, lacking dreams of her own, trivial.

Perhaps the same thing applies to the man in front of you, Joel Miller.

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

Could you maybe do Darry Curtis x fem! Reader sfw alphabet please? I love your writing btw! :)

Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoy!! Out of personal preference, I am keeping my SFW Alphabets pretty gender neutral, but you can totally read them as more fem. Sorry, love.

Also, this man is one of my favorite characters in this damn book. I want nothing but the best for him. For some reason putting hcs into words was killing me this time, I'm so sorry if it's noticeable!!!

SFW Alphabet : Darry Curtis

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Not huge on PDA aside from holding hands and a kiss on the cheek. Pretty private about personal (especially romantic) relationships, people will know you two are together, it will be obvious in how you interact, but there isn't much open affection.

Around close friends, the gang, and his brothers, he's a bit (but not much) more affectionate. He'll call you a few pet-names (hun/honey, sweetheart, beautiful), might wrap an arm around you when you're sitting together, little things.

All alone, he'll pull you onto his lap or wrap his hands around your waist while you're doing the dishes, resting his head on you and giving you a quick kiss.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You know Darry from yalls school days. You two were good, but never quite friends. You interacted with each other, but more in passing or in group settings.

After graduation, you two just didn't really interact at all. You two weren't close or anything, there was never a reason to keep in touch. Later, you cross paths again and catch up a bit.

Being close friends with Darry is just a lot of little things. Having a scheduled day a week where you come over for coffee, going grocery shopping together, hanging out with his brothers a ton, etc. Also, hearing him vent. You're hearing about every single time Ponyboy is an idiot, in great detail. And he also trusts you as someone he can talk out his more serious problems with, because dude is going through TOO MUCH for his age (I'm 22 and my only obligations are myself and 2 cats, I could not IMAGINE being both younger and in charge of anything more serious than the shit I'm dealing with right now, give this man some support and a break, holy hell). He doesn't expect or want you to help with anything at all, he just wants to have an outlet to verbalize whatever is going on. You're there to listen.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Isn't one to cuddle often. That would require him to stay relaxed for an extended period of time and that's rare. Besides being a fairly busy person as *literally the only person in the gang with actual obligations and an ounce of responsibility* and essentially having to be there to put up with all of their bullshit, he is the type of person that needs to do something with his time or he doesn't feel productive. Even when he's going to bed, he is asleep so fast that cuddling isn't really an option, you can cuddle into him but he's already dead asleep so you aren't getting anything back.

If no one is expected to come around (which is rare because the door is always unlocked, his brothers are usually around, you're working with the assumption that someone's going to barge in whenever) he might have you sit on his lap while he reads the paper or something.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Pretty good at cleaning. Things aren't perfect and sometimes life is just hectic so things don't get done, but nothing generally gets absolutely disgusting when he's around. Doesn't mind cleaning, actually quite enjoys it. There may be piles of dirty clothes sometimes or laundry might not get folded or put up right away, and "weekly" chores might be a bit late, but it all gets done.

Good at cooking the basics. Darry is good enough in the kitchen to tweak a recipe on the fly and make it a bit better than it otherwise would be, but he isn't able to make entire meals based on what sounds like it would work out well. Isn't inventing any new dishes or anything.

If he met the right person he'd be willing to reconsider, but Darry mostly sees himself having a pretty traditional life in the future, not really by choice but more because its the 60s and thats whats expected. He's the provider, he works long hours. He would expect you to do the housework and cooking and such. Isn't 100% conservatively split about it, would still absolutely help out some and make dinner on his days off. Again, if you were like "yeah, that's not going to work out, we're going to be tag-teaming on this domestic stuff, I'm going to have my own money" then he'd be totally okay with that. It isn't preferred because there's more of a chance that you'll both be too tired from work and things won't get done, but if it's important to you then it's a compromise he's willing to make.

(I also like making him a househusband. I think if you made BANK and convinced him that you were okay with being the breadwinner, he can be convinced to stay at home and do the domestic work while also doing freelance. He wouldn't have the pressure to make money, so he'd be able to prioritize the home, but he'd also want to not be unemployed so he'd do odd-jobs fixing things for shorter hours than a normal job would have. Less realistic, perhaps, but man's been through it so he deserves to just be taken care of instead of having to take care of others.)

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

The most logical/mature about a relationship ending, but it can come off as a bit cold when you're hurt by it. Darry will sit you down and basically discuss whatever problem there is. He'll say "we either fix this or break up" and mean it. He'll definitely put in the work to solve whatever's going on, but if he feels that he's doing most of the work then it's over. Is disappointed by a breakup, is absolutely sad about it in private and a bit more irritable for a while, but life goes on. Sometimes relationships end, and he frankly doesn't have time to mope about it when that isn't fixing anything.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Would incorporate you into his life pretty quickly (having you stay over and doing dinner/chores/life stuff together). Introduces you to his brothers fast. That's pretty decent commitment because, like I touched on above, Darry can deal with a break up well but it's harder to separate when there are three people that are kind of attached to you rather than just one.

The entire gang really gets along with you, so they're all constantly asking when you and Darry are getting married. Hard to tell if that has any influence on when he proposes, but it's probably about a year or two in. Quick, but not irresponsibly so. Yall stay engaged for a long while, he wants you to be able to have a nice wedding (small and simple, but still nice) so he waits until both of his brothers are actually out of the house and he can *attempt* to save up the tiniest bit for it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Pretty gentle, but in a stereotypically man way specifically emotionally, if that makes sense? Like, genuinely an amazing boyfriend, treats you so good. But emotions aren't a strong point for him, he likes things that have reason and sound logic behind them. Likes to rationalize things. He'll give advice that you didn't ask for it and you just wanted him to listen, or will tell you that you're problems really aren't urgent/major. Will be very confused when you get upset by that. If you aren't the emotional type, then it's all good!! If you are, then he'll really try to learn when to just not try to "help" when you need him to be more gentle.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Likes hugs. Darry usually wraps his arms around you from behind when you're doing something. Any time he's in a good or sillier mood, you're getting picked up. Loves doing that thing where he, like, lifts you up and spins you around. If he's in a bad mood, he'll get a tiny bit clingy with you and tends to end up in long, silent embraces with you. They really give him comfort.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

A few months, maybe 4? He doesn't want to take things too fast or really anything, so it takes a bit. The gang (especially his brothers, ESPECIALLY Soda) tease the hell out of you two for being so in love way before then, and he usually tells them to shut the hell up. But one day when you're making dinner he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist like always, and he just says it. Shocked the hell out of both of you, he had a long day and just kind of blurted it out without even really meaning to, but obviously you love him too (how couldn't you?) so it was alright.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Trusts you fully. Does not get jealous hardly ever. If someone was clearly into you and flirting with you, he wouldn't care at all because he's confident you wouldn't be into it. Even if he caught the vibe that you were cheating or you were getting REALLY friendly with someone else, he wouldn't get jealous so much as frustrated that you would cheat instead of just breaking up with him. Very quick to want to talk out any issues, so misunderstandings are usually put to rest there. On the very rare occasion that he does feel jealous, he doesn't even mention it.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Usually a kiss on your forehead or the top of your head, quick and sweet are most common but slow, lingering kisses on the mouth aren't rare either.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Good with kids. Definitely the most responsible with kids, more strict than most. While not the "most fun" for kids out of the gang, Darry is way better than a lot of the gang gives him credit for. If he was in a position where he knew he was going to have to watch some younger kids for a day, he'd make plans to keep them entertained. Take them to the park and for some kind of small treat, would be rather active in playing with them if they wanted him to.

He doesn't want kids for a WHILE, after both of his brothers are out of the house he would prefer to have a few years at least. But kids are an eventually thing for Darry. Just one, maybe two.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

You two wake up fairly early so that he can get ready for work (he doesn't even work THAT early, he's just one of those people that likes to not feel rushed in the morning), you start some coffee and maybe get started on breakfast. Breakfast is eaten, and Darry goes to read the paper while you get ready.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

On an average night when yall don't have any other plans, usually dinner and hanging out with his brothers a bit. Pony goes to bed kind of early if he doesn't have anything better to do because he's a little bitch he has school the next day, and Soda usually finds something to do with his late evening/night. After they're gone, you climb into Darry's lap as he's sitting on his chair and yall just talk for a while until he's literally drifting off mid conversation so you two go to bed.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Doesn't get emotionally vulnerable early on, but also doesn't know the difference between basic information and deeper stuff. You'll say "tell me a bit about yourself" on the first date and he'll instantly start kind of trauma-dumping. You expect some hobbies or something and he'll start getting into how he had to give up on college to take care of his brothers after his parents died and your just sitting there like "damn... I really thought you would just tell me your favorite color or smth..."

Kind of doesn't know what to say, so will just give you various bits of his entire life story whenever something makes him think of some story to tell.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Easily frustrated or annoyed. Harder to properly anger, more likely to happen because it's been building up over several different things and he hits a breaking point.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Would remember most things, but also has the tendency to temporarily forget them. They just slip his mind, the second you mention it he gets hit with an "OH YEAH, I DID KNOW THAT" but he might forget things. Too much stuff, not enough brain space. It's a stress thing, a symptom of anxiety. He tries to remember everything. Big on intentionally doing things to help, he writes dates in a calender and if anything is important he'll make a note and kind of repeat information to himself.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

When you guys made your relationship official. You two had been friends for a little while before even dating, then dated a bit before you had to ask if you two were actually together or not. Darry was already pretty in love with you, tbh, he just wanted to take things slow because if you two were really together then there would be more expectations that he was afraid he couldn't meet. He felt that he couldn't give you the attention that you deserved in an actual relationship. You basically had to say "listen, my love, I *KNOW* that you're going through some shit, and I know your brothers are your top priority, and I know that you can't give me all of your time. I am signing up for this, I care about you and I want to be with you." And, holy fuck, he needed that so damn bad.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Will absolutely protect you if you need it, but hopes you don't need it. Like, if someone is treating you badly when you are literally just minding your own business then he's by your side INSTANTLY. If something happens when he's not there, he is one call away. He'll call someone to check on you usually, but in an emergency he will drop what he's doing for you instantly.

If you were being unsafe, being super unaware of your surroundings or picking a fight or something, he'll obviously still be there for you but will be mad about it. Will tell you to be more careful because that was easily avoidable.

Darry would prefer to just tell anyone messing with you to politely fuck off. Very "is this person bothering you, darlin?" and usually it works because he's a big guy, people aren't usually going to double down on being nasty/creepy/rude to you when he comes over. If need be, he will absolutely kick some guy's ass for you. The second some dude so much as touches you (whether pervy or violent), that dude is getting several broken bones.

If you found yourself in those situations often, he'd probably get you to carry a small knife or a makeshift pepper spray for self defense (pepper spray was invented in the 60s, but wasn't sold to the public until the 80s, but I feel like he would have you carry something similar because it's non-lethal and can be used at a longer range) because he can't really be around you all the time.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Always gives the relationship everything he's got, but what he's got varies wildly. There are going to be periods of time when he is able to put small bits of money aside for gifts and anniversaries, makes sure that he schedules out one date a week just so you two are guaranteed to see each other alone, does what he can around the house so you don't have to do it all, etc. There are also times when he doesn't get to see you or take you on dates, forgets anniversaries and has to make it up to you, etc. It isn't out of lack of effort at all, he feels terrible about it when things get like that, but it happens.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

It takes a lot to convince him to accept help. I think a lot of the guys have this problem, it's a problem that a lot of men have in general and in the 60s the gender expectations went even harder, but Darry can be especially bad about it.

Not only will he not let you help him with things, but he will also get too overwhelmed by having to put energy into a relationship too and will probably want a break (especially in the beginning) if he gets too stressed about other things. After you fight him on it, he'll realize that you actually signed up for this and are totally down to stay with him even when he's busy or exhausted or just doesn't have any time/energy/money to spare for you. He'll still feel hella bad about it, wants you to have someone that can give you the attention that he feels you deserve, but he's not putting your relationship on hold over it anymore.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Knows he looks good as hell, all of the Curtis brothers are super conventionally attractive and they know it. Darry also takes a lot of pride in his body. He isn't vain or overly caught up in his looks, but he isn't oblivious to them either.

He knows he's fine, he cleans up really well when he wants to, he does not care if he looks rough or unfashionable sometimes.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

No. He's whole outside of a relationship, a partner is extra. Very much of the mindset that a healthy relationship is when two whole people create something bigger than themselves.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Loves to know things, very into learning. Always looking into classes (though he doesn't have the money or time to take them, he just likes seeing what's there), huge on the importance of keeping up with the news and current events, reads a lot of nonfiction and watched documentaries. Likes facts, especially history and sciences like biology and earth science. Has a lot of skills that he's picked up and is always looking to pick up more. If you need anything done or you need to know anything that could be considered useless trivia, check with Darry first because there's a good chance he'll have an answer.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Lack of damn common sense, not being able to take a rational and honest answer. He REALLY tries to be understanding about it with the people that he cares about. It's a major issue between him and Ponyboy especially, but it could be a problem with any more emotional person. He doesn't get it at all, so it's SO frustrating when he has to stand by and watch someone make a stupid decision because they just refuse to by logical about it. Even worse when it turns into an argument, because he's usually objectively right but it's so hard to win against someone so intensely emotionally charged even when his points are completely sound and valid.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Sleeps in chairs 80% of the time. Doesn't mean to, he sits too long and he's out, though. Between that and work, he has no right to wonder why when his body is fucked up. No way it isn't catching up to him as he gets older.

[ticklishprincey]

Tiger Stripes

Hehe I'm so glad you enjoy what I put out! This was @lanie-lee-llama reblog of my Helluva Boss Headcannons (screenshotted because I didn't wanna forget about it) and I just couldn't pass this up, for now I'll just do Blitzo buttttt don't be surprised if there's a Moxxie one directly after. (I really hope you like it, I've never done a self-insert fic before so please don't hit also my laptop refuses to do the cross over the o I'm so sorryyyyyy) Warnings: Tickling (obv), insecure reader, implied body dysmorphia, reader is referred to as kid but it's just a nickname not serious Summary: Reader is insecure about how their body looks. Blitzo notices and convinces them their body is amazing. You had been standing in front of your mirror all day, looking at your reflection in disgust and disdain. Your brain ran a mile a minute, pointing out every possible flaw in your body, and despite your various attempts, tears burned your eyes like pin pricks and threatened to spill. You sucked in your stomach as much as you could, still not satisfied with the results. You let out a sigh, sitting down onto your bed and hugging your knees to your chest. "Kid?"  A knock on your bedroom door stirred you from your thoughts. You quickly rubbed your eyes, grabbing an old sweatshirt and slipping it on before answering the door, an over-enthused smile plastered on your face. "Hey, Blitz! What's up?" You had hoped that your boss wouldn't pay attention to your tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes, but you were mistaken. The usual sarcastic and shit-eating grin was replaced with that rare look of concern he saved for you. He reached out and gently touched your cheek, wiping away a stray tear in a rare showcase of affection. "What's goin on, kid?" "Nothing." You responded quickly, too quickly, even. The larger imp rolled his eyes, taking your hand and pulling you into the room, sitting on your bed and patting the spot next to him. You sat reluctantly. "Don't bullshit me, kid. What's on your mind?" You sighed, then proceeded to explain how you had been feeling, how you were unhappy with your body. He listened silently, nodding in understanding. When you had finished, he pulled you into his arms and held you close. "Don't talk about yourself like that. You're amazing, got that?" You rolled your eyes at the sentiment. Blitzo noticed this and squeezed your sides teasingly. "What was that? Don't you sass me, remember who's in charge here." A small squeak escapes your lips, a wobbly smile crossing your features in anticipation for his next move. He grinned and scribbled his nails into your tummy. "What was that? Was that a squeak I heard? Don't tell me someone's ticklish?" You shake your head, fighting back the laughter bubbling in your throat to no avail. You pushed half-heartedly at his hands. "Wahahait Blihitz!!!" "Wait for what? I'm already tickling!"

His hands move to poke and prod at your hips, causing you to squeal and squirm in his arms, laughter pouring out freely now. "Ooooo, that's a bad spot, huh? Too bad!" Your face grows red at the teasing, pushing at his hands. You would never admit it, but you liked these moments with Blitzo. You felt his hands pull up your shirt slightly, tracing lightly over the stretch marks of which you were so insecure about earlier. "I don't understand why you don't like these. They're like tiger stripes." A snort slips through your lips at that, causing your hands to immediately cover your mouth in embarrassment, your blush increasing tenfold. Blitzo simply laughs and continues his tracing. "That was cute! Can I hear it again?" He blows a raspberry over your belly button, rewarded by your squealing and bubbly, bright laughter, a stark contrast to your earlier anxiety and stress. He lets up, holding you close and rubbing your back gently as your laughter dies down into soft, happy hiccups. "Feeling better, kiddo?" You nod your head as Blitzo chuckles, continuing to rub your back as you slowly begin to fall asleep in his arms. Maybe he was right, your body was pretty amazing. ALL NSFW/KINK PLEASE DNI!!!

[bowieandqueen11]

Coming Out As Asexual To Jesse Pinkman Would Include...

Request: HC for coming out as asexual to Jesse Pinkman?

I've done this as someone who experiences romantic attraction I really hope that's okay lovely!! Otherwise just let me know and I can make it strictly platonic :)

Also I'm sorry but I always love me some character backstory lmaoo

If you enjoy, please comment as it really helps me keep motivated!!

Warning: mentions of drugs/drug dealing and light swearing!

(I do not own Breaking Bad or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @dont-care-about-that-bullshit.)

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°

Coming out as asexual to Jesse Pinkman had a little bit of a build up from your side. It's not that you believed Jesse wouldn't be anything less than understanding, or that you were afraid about how he would react, but the two of you had just known each other for so long. You were each other's safe spaces: the love of each other's lives, and you were apprehensive about anything changing that.

The two of you had known each other since High School, ever since that fateful day a couple of months before midterms. Your old chemistry teacher Mr. White had grabbed your elbow after the bell rang, and asked if you could stay aside for a couple of minutes. Turns out, as he sat on the edge of his desk and rubbed his tired head, he wanted to know if you would consider tutoring a 'Jesse Pinkman' for a couple of days after school, for some extra credit of course. You were surprised, but quickly accepted. You had seen the kid in the corridors between classes, always pretending to be shoving his obviously unopened books deep into his locker, turning his head slyly over his shoulder to grab a glance of you before he scuttled off again. The same guy you spotted every day after school, sliding his way in between the edge of the parking lot and the bike shed and sliding his back down the wall with a sigh. As he fumbled with his lighter, yanking a cigarette out from the sleeve of his hoodie, be was simultaneously glad to not have to go back home for a while, and also to spot you raising an eyebrow at his antics as you walked past to unlock your bike. He was quick to stub out the butt of his cigarette, wincing as a few sparks burnt as his fingers, before he rubbed them on his trousers and jumped up.

He decided, puffing out the last few wisps between the corner of his mouth, that he was going to be brave and finally muster the courage to ask you out. He had little chance though, for as soon as he came wrangling his hands in front of you, the words blurted out of your mouth. 'Do you want to come round to my house.'

'Yes', Jesse responded without any hesitation. 'Yes. Absolutely.' An awkward tension flitted between the two of you as Jesse began to smile, biting his bottom lip as you flush and shake your head. 'I-I mean, Mr. White asked me to tutor you, and I really-'.

'No, no, it's chill. No explanation needed.' He winked at you, swearing internally to himself as his heart pounded louder than his tongue could speak. 'But seriously, though. Thank you. That's very kind of you.'

Jesse agreed to come round almost immediately, for two reasons. 1) So he could snoop about your house, and nosy through the photos and bookshelves in your room to find out more about what kind of interests and hobbies you had, so he could come into school the next day and bust out the new said hobby set he had bought by scrounging together all the pocket change he had made dealing, just so he could try and impress you.

2) His idea of a perfect day is spent lying sprawled out on your bedroom mat, playing with the loose threads at the corner and nodding along, pretending to listen to what you were saying. Yet any time you raised your nose out of your notebook to see why you couldn't hear any pencil scratching, you'd catch those soft, lowered lashes of his fluttering as he intently observed you from beneath them. He would cough, pretending to be thinking as he darted his eyeline up to the ceiling crown and scratched the back of his ear with the pencil eraser. Bless his heart, it was so easy for you to fluster him: any time you reached over to take his paper and the side of your forearm brushed against his bare skin, he would turn the same colour as his namesake and bury his head into the bracket of his elbows. Or, if you tried to ask him a question relating to chiral molecules, he would try to dodge it by rolling over onto his back, looking all sweet and bashful like a puppy.

'Yeah, but like, more importantly? What's your favourite colour :)'

He snuck out of his house a lot as the two of you grew older, and his parents became less and less tolerant, and more and more truculent voicing their concerns about the company he had begun to keep: the non school endorsed 'extracurriculars' he was roaming the alleyways until near midnight to partake in. It was easy to tell when he was coming; you didn't live too far from Jesse, only a couple of houses down the lane from his. It starts with his lamp flicking on as he tries to sneak back in. Then come the shadows: the belligerent, all-encompassing umbra cast by his parents as they pass through the doorway. Last is the shouting, followed by the slam of a windowpane and the light swears falling out of a tumbling Jesse as he lands in the thorn bush in his front yard.

You already have the curtains pulled aside before Jesse can even come running down the street, guided along as if by an invisible string back to the one and only person he's ever felt safe with. Ever been able to be his true self with, without any fear of judgement or repercussion. With red crested eyes, you dragged his arm up onto your porch roof, happy to just let him sit and cry for a while in well deserved peace. Thankfully the roof peaks just past your bed, allowing you and Jesse a corner to curl up into, with nothing but a few inky splattered stars past the shaky blue spruce treeline to hear his anguished wails: a wounded creature lost to the night. You hesitantly slid an arm around his hip, bunching it under his hoodie until he sighed in relief at the feeling, and in embarrassment used his sleeve to dry away the snot from his top lip.

'You know', his voice was shaky as he pulled his legs back behind him and rested his head heavily on your shoulder, scraping against the tile with his sneakers. He peeked up at you like a wounded bird, kicked and beaten and broken and still with such hope in those wide, beautiful eyes that it almost blinds you against the peeking edge of the lavender twilight. He stopped, frowning, before somehow drawing the courage to shuffle closer to you. 'You're the only thing I have left that I care about.'

At first all you could feel was the jut of his chin as he talked on top of your shoulder, but then all you could feel were his closed lips pressed tentatively onto yours. It was short, not for lack of wanting, but due to the fact that Jesse was absolutely terrified that you would shove him away. And so, before you could even register what was happening, Jesse's forehead was backing away from yours, a tremor rolling through his body as he grew aghast at what he had done. All you did was place the back of your fingers against the side of his cheek, drawing them down slowly and allowing him to calm down, to realise that you cared just as much about him too.

You could see the weight of the world slump off his shoulders: the relief grinding the axe out of his back as you replied: 'I care about you more than you could ever know, Jesse.' Surprising him for the second time that night, his eyes widened in a blissful disbelief as you rushed forward and pressed a close-lipped kiss against his bottom lip, enjoying the way he seemed to collapse into you at the feeling.

The two of you had never gone further than that, mainly because Jesse adores you more than anything, and he both respected and picked up on the fact that you never seemed inclined or wanted to go in a sexual direction. To be completely honest, this man is touch starved to the high heavens, so a solely romantic relationship based on touch as a love language is like, a perfect world to him. All he wants, day after day, is just the ability to wake up and see you. To be with you, to find new joys and new quirks and to see you anew, to experience you as if for the first time over and over and over again.

Like, stroking his hair back and curling up into the back of his chest on his brand new mattress? Tickling the nape of his neck and making him laugh himself awake as the two of you eat cereal in bed in his brand new place? Having him lie against your chest, using those delicate fingers of his to run over the veins in your arms until he has each cell of your skin memorised? Making him shiver when you wrap your arms around his waist and smoosh your face into his bare back when he's standing at the stove, secretly trying to make you eggs for breakfast? How glad he is that you agree to go and grab the orange juice from the fridge, so you don't spot how his eyes roll back in his head and he begins humming happily to himself as he plates up? Bliss! Utter bliss!

So, you take him out one night after he gets back home from 'work', as he likes to call it, telling him you'll treat him to some bowling and hot dogs out in the town. He hadn't been to the entertainment complex since he was a kid: it was the last place he remembers having his birthday, just a couple of years before his parents gave him the boot. Hell, it was the last place he remembers his birthday at all. He had cheated at bowling by secretly putting the bumpers down during his friend's go, and had also beat every single one of them playing the zombie blaster game in the arcade, winning enough tickets to buy an old games console that he then later ended up trading on the streets.

Turns out, his muscle memory kicks in, and although he wins the bowling fair and square this time, he does come up with a bottle green corduroy teddy bear holding a cushioned heart as an apology later, having defeated you at the arcade games as well. You don't mind though, just appreciating the youthful glee in the crinkles underneath his smiling eyes as he slides up at the food counter next to you, yuck-ing when his elbow lands in a sticky patch. It's soon replaced with a sweet hum and faux gnashing teeth at your fingers as you feed him a bite of your hot dog, his hand coming down to drag your free hand onto his lap so he can fiddle with your fingers contently.

Turns out the adrenaline from your night out was enough to just make you blurt it out. You just love him so much. And he loves you more than anything. And so it just tumbles out.

'Jesse, I-I'm asexual. I mean, you probably already guessed, but I just wanted you to hear it from my own lips.'

Suddenly he's lowering the hot dog bun down back onto the table tray, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. You can see the cogs working in the back of his mind as he tries to figure out if he can remember from his high school biology classes what asexual means, but the confusion soon melts from his face when he sees how worriedly you're staring right at him.

He tugs at your hand, and brings it up to rest against his baggy shirt, right on top of where his thudding heart is beating. 'Asexual, huh? Oh yeah? Oh, right on!' He's so awkward bless him, that he kind of raises his fist out of instinct to fist bump you before realising himself.

You explain what the word means to him, and he nods fervently the whole while.

'I just want to be with you, to be with you, you get me? I just want to be close to you, you know? Like... I kind of always knew? I didn't know the word for it, but, like, I love you all the same, okay? You're perfect. I mean it.' He reaches out to brush his knuckles over the side of your chin, but you can tell he's getting restless to hug you by the way he begins fidgeting his legs on the seat, but he's too shy to outright ask you if you're okay with that level of contact still, or if you want him to chill it a bit. So you just pounce on him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and trying to hide your smile in the crumpled folds of his hood.

He cups your cheeks, grinning like breaking day as he presses hundreds of little kisses over every inch of your face. Any time a waiter comes over to ask you two to stop, he just throws his hand out and shouts over your shoulder loud enough for the whole place to hear: 'yo, that's my S/O bitch! And I love them, man - they're the best thing in my life, so show some respect! They were really brave today!'

I mean, the two of you get kicked out, but the giddy giggles as the two of you run home bumping into each other, hands tightly pressed together the whole while makes it worth it.

He becomes 100% more perceptive and caring after that day, if that's even possible with Jesse. Like, he knows how horrifying and scary and confusing life can be, and he never ever wants you to feel uncomfortable, or beaten down like he is by it. He always asks if he can kiss you, always double checks it's okay before he pulls you down to sit on his lap. He makes sure you're comfortable when he rests his forehead against your own and just spends as much of his life as he possibly can breathing you in: replacing the air in his lungs so they're only full of you, and he can finally feel alive again. He always makes sure you're okay when he rubs his thumb over your knuckles, his arm splayed over your stomach as he rests against your back, his breath warm against the shell of your ear as he tries to make you laugh by recounting the time he was so desperate to impress you in gym class, that he nearly knocked his front teeth out when he started swinging from the climbing ropes.

He still looks over at you with that exact same wonderous look in his eye, every time. And that will never, ever change.

[your-helpful-guide-and-assistant]

Genie: Your Partner On Your Way To Success!

01001101 01100001 01101110 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101101 01101001 01101100 01111001 00100001

01001100 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01101111 01110101 01101100 01101100 01100101 01110011 01110011 00100000 01100010 01100001 01110011 01110100 01100001 01110010 01100100 01110011 00100001

...

Ah, I don't think that's supposed to be there. I'm not the best at this computer thing so I'll let Matt deal with it.

That aside, I think we should introduce ourselves. I'll start while he's checking this "issue" out.

Hello. My name's Colin Sloan. Financial advisor. Used to do things more face-to-face, but I figured this program makes things more efficient. Glad to be of service.

Ah no, that is not. No need to worry, it shouldn't cause any harm. Let's simply leave it for the time being.

Hello, I am Matthew Godrick. And I do... ah... I do the more technical stuff. I.. I... wait-

...

Sorry I appear to be experiencing some technical difficulties.

Huh. Did something happen? Do you need anything, kid? You look a little shocked.

I... ah, I'm fine. Just some technical difficulties.

Oh, okay. You can always just take a break. I'll deal with this.

Yes that'd likely be the best course of action. Thank you.

No problem. I'll be checking on the clients now.

...

Get me out of here, assholes!

-David, if you are feeling unsatisfied with our service, you could easily just message us. No need for profanity, please.-

Fuck you!

-SHUT THE HELL UP LARSON-

No, you shut the fuck up! You're both monsters on all fucking levels! Get me out of here!

-Oh, oh no. You're getting it all wrong. We're not... monsters. But I can be one, if it weren't for formalities--

-I'll show you a monster YOU LITTLE SHI--

WHAT THE FUCK

-Godrick, the claws aren't necessary.-

-Well, our 'client' better watch his fucking mouth then.-

I'M NOT SHUTTING THE HELL UP! Why the fuck are you doing this?

-Doing what? Business? Listen here, client. We do what we do to help poor souls like you...

because we could. Nothing else. Got that?-

Ha! That's bullshit! I know you two have a fucking agenda! Got an axe to grind with someone?

-...-

-I think you should watch your mouth, Larson. Do yourself a favour and shut it.-

I'm not shutting up until you get me the fuck out of here.

-Why the hell should we let YOU out of here?-

Because... because I don't deserve this! I need to go home, people miss me out there! You probably wouldn't get it.

-Oh, but you do. David, you got what you bargained for. As for... the people, well... they already know what's happened to you. It was all over the news. They wouldn't question a thing. I made sure they get the details correctly.-

-...-

Huh? What's going on with him-

-Oh. Uh. You know what? David, you're dismissed. Please. Leave your complaints somewhere else, and we can talk about this later. I believe my coworker here is going through a 'bug' again.-

...whatever. Fuck you.

-Thank you for the feedback. We will get back to you in a moment.-

...

//Hello! OOC Admins here. Enjoy the chaos. I (Rhi) am rlly proud of this masterpiece.

[Hi as well! This blogs being run by myself @doliminuz and @rhithefella ! With Matt being played yours truly (Doli) and Colin by Rhi, and I think we're just passing David back and forth like a basket ball.

It's a Cabin Tales blog using our AU/HC versions of the collector plus Mr Got Snatched himself as their unwilling guest star!]

//And here's some OOC deets abt each of our characters + some important things to know.

Colin Sloan (Played by Rhi)

- Somewhere between 26-34 (doesn't remember)

- He/Any

- Lived during the early 1900s so he's got a lot catching up to do with technology.

- Ancestor of Rhi's version of Kevin from 2.4/Roulette.

Matthew Godrick (Played by Doli)

- 28 years and married (or was before You Know)

- He/him

- Can't really remember anything from pre-death, aside from his death itself, and is VERY short tempered with his victims. Will drop that professionalism completely.

- Cousins in law with Doli's version of Koby from Cry Wolf/1.8

David Larson

- 25 years old

- He/Him

- His dad is a scumbag so he moved away as soon as he could. Originally stayed with a friend named Lance until the events of his story (1.5/Sell Your Soul).

-Brother of Sam from 1.6/Storm Warning, Romeo from The Night We Met, one of the waitresses from 2.1/Graveyard Diner, and Samuel from 2.4/Roulette.

Miscellaneous

- Please do not ask anything inappropriate ofc.

- Again, these are just HCs so don't take any of these as canon.

[historicallyaccuratecheese]

Here is the third of the posts I'm making that detail my thoughts on every episode of The Magnus Archives. This post details my thoughts on episodes 31-40, the last episodes of Season 1. I've absolutely loved this final quarter, and documenting it has been a really fun (and kind of traumatizing but I'll get to that) experience.

Please keep in mind a few things before you read this.

1: This post is LONG. Like I mean LOOOOOONNNGG. If you read this all in one sitting, I will be both humbled and concerned for your wellbeing, so just...keep that in mind.

2: Obviously there will be spoilers for all of the first season, so if you haven't listened to that, steer clear. If you have listened ahead of Season 1, which I'm assuming most people reading this have, please don't spoil any future episodes for me :).

3: I recommend reading my posts on previous episodes before this one, as I will make reference to them a few times. There is a link to my masterpost of them above the cut. With that, enjoy! :)

- Episode 31, First Hunt 🦌

Statement of Lawrence Mortimer, regarding his hunting trip to Blue Ridge, Virginia.

Jonathan Sims is the only guy ever. The man walks into his office, probably sleep deprived and without any caffeine in his bloodstream, does the best impression of a jolly old English man he can muster for twenty minutes straight, sings his little heart out at one point, and then proceeds to call the story about someone being hunted bullshit while he stares at the ceiling in dread of the evil sex worms hunting him. Btw, I will admit that last bit was a little annoying. Usually I’m fine with Jon calling statements dumb, as I think it adds to the loser old man twink vibe I get from him, but when he straight up sees a similarity between one paranormal occurrence and another, and one or said occurrences is haunting him in real time, his denial just came off as kind of frustrating, especially considering how he usually does pick up on connections between statements. Ok enough about Jon (I just love/affectionately hate him so much I’m sorry), more about the actual story. Well firstly, the portrayal of America was genuinely kind of perfect. I’m glad that more people around the world are able to learn about the horrors of The Appalachian Trail. (These specific horrors don’t get the sparkles, they’re just that fucked up.) I did also really like the whole role reversal with animals hunting humans, it oddly reminds me of some of the themes in Episode 30, but the flavor and execution is very different. I do also wonder if the presence of a lycanthrope somehow connects to the vampires in Episode 10, since I usually group those two monsters specifically. And much like the vampires, I actually really liked how the lycanthrope was portrayed here, it had a lot more intelligence than the average werewolf, where the human and animal forms are usually entirely different minds. Also, it not being able to die was…genuinely really fucking scary with the way it was described. And while I do have a distaste for hunting, I did genuinely feel pretty bad for Lawrence and Arden, neither of them deserved what happened to them. Finally, there’s the ending of the episode, which was…yikes. It’s genuinely quite shaking to see Jon this terrified, like he’s really started to realize how bad things are getting. I always love seeing him outside of when he’s reading statements, and I just UGH I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOOOOUUU. Honestly that’s probably my only kind of big frustration with the podcast. I mean, I still love the statements obviously, and they’re clearly working hard in the world-building and foreshadowing department, so it’s hardly affecting my enjoyment, but episodes like Colony and A Distortion are some of my favorites in the show so far, and it just makes me want to see more of what’s going on at the institute, and what the people who work there are like. Hopefully more episodes like those ones will show up soon, as I’d like the season to end on a special note. Well, aside from that, this was a very solid episode, and given the title of the next episode…well, I think my wishes will be granted soon. (JANE PRENTISS STATEMENT SAVE ME!!!)

I just realized that I’m basically writing my own statements here whoa.

- Episode 32, Hive 🐝

Statement of Jane Prentiss, regarding a wasps’ nest in her attic.

….The Jane Prentiss statement saved me, but NOT IN THE WAY I WANTED IT TO. (LIKE, IT WAS PHENOMENAL, MIGHT JUST BE MY NEW FAVORITE, BUT FUUUUUCCCKK.) Firstly, I think part of what made this statement so amazing was how it was framed. This is definitely the most cryptic story so far, valuing symbolism over a concise structure, but I actually felt like that worked perfectly here. Since Jane is practically deteriorating while writing this, it feels like she’s contemplating things we couldn’t even imagine. While also being aware of the true horrors she has now become witness and host to. And mentioning the symbolism, MY GOD IS IT GOOD. The Flesh Hive (and no, I’m not calling it the sex worms anymore, that ship has sailed) in particular is such an interesting concept, I mean, it’s more of a concept incarnate than any other horror so far. The way it reflects the metaphorical hive, the insect ecosystem that exists all around us, which in turn reflects a sort of toxic codependency and need to be loved, which is also reflected through Jane, and it all ends up as a combination between the concept of love and disgusting insects, it’s just, UGH I LOVE IT SO MUCH. On top of that, this is absolutely my favorite of Jonny Sims’ performances so far. He captured Jane, along with her shift into becoming a part of The Flesh Hive extremely well, but also mixes it with the genuine terror that Jon is feeling. Speaking of which, while it was certainly cathartic to see Jon admit that what’s happening is very real and very paranormal, it was also very terrifying in its own right. Either something very weird is happening in the archives (I mean, obviously SOMETHING is weird but Jon could be…well, he certainly isn’t normal, but, like, he doesn’t have to be PARAnormal, you know?), or, Jon has had some VERY weird experiences in his past, which I think is more likely. What they are, I don’t know, but I think they’re something similar to this, considering how he said that something in the statement had gotten to him. (Stay safe my poor little meow meow babygirl-) As for the story outside of just themes, I don’t have much to say honestly, it was still fantastic, just very simple due to the abstract nature of the episode. All I’ll say is that it was obviously terrifying, and I feel really bad for Jane. I don’t care if she was canonically “toxic” or whatever, she still deserved better than what happened to her, and the level of emotional distress she was in was absolutely chilling. (On the bright side though she kind of slays as an evil worm lady but I digress.) Anyways, the last thing I have to talk about is theories, because MY GOD, this gave me quite a bit to work with. (This is becoming a massive wall of text so I’m going to make a cut.)

Firstly, I think it’s time to go back to my theory about cults and higher powers. There’s been at least one instance of a cult via The People’s Church of The Divine Host, but due to characters like Gerard Keay, the other guy in the hospital, Sarah Baldwin, potentially The Lukas Family, potentially Jurgen Leitner, likely The Circus of The Other, and more, I feel like there are multiple cults and multiple higher powers, potentially at odds with each other given what happens in Episode 12. And I think this applies to this episode, as Jane was a practicing witch, and The Flesh Hive seems to be some kind of higher power as well. I think other higher powers might be The Anglerfish, the growing darkness, something associated with eyes, maybe “Micheal”, and some other potential candidates. Overall it does feel like the podcast is leaning towards the eldritch kind of horror (which is my absolute jam btw), so I hope I’m right in my assumptions. As for what these higher powers may want, I feel like maybe they’re…punishing humanity for their hubris? Like, I know that assumption might sound like it’s coming from someone who can only view these sorts of things from a religious perspective, but hear me out, because you have episodes like Do Not Open, Alone, Lost Johns’ Cave, Confession and Desecrated Host, Freefall, Skintight, First Hunt, and even this one with how Jane is practicing witchcraft, where characters who are comfortable in situations that many would find scary, and are then scared while in that situation. The only possible exception is in Arachnophobia, where Carlos is already scared of what he’s haunted by, but you could argue that he was being punished for a potential curiosity with spiders he had when he was younger. So yeah, those are some small thoughts I had about how some of this all ties together, but I had a couple of other small observations as well. Firstly, the presence of spiders in Jane’s attic. She implies that they exist separately from The Flesh Hive, so I do wonder if they tie into what happened in Episode 16 at all, especially considering that the worms were in fact mentioned there. Secondly, there’s her mention of “fools chasing fractals”. If that doesn’t tie into Episode 8 with Ivo’s father, I don’t know what does. Thirdly, her landlord was smoking a cigarette, which just reminds me of everything involving The Anglerfish (although I checked to see if he was mentioned in Ep. 1 like Sarah and no, he wasn’t.) And fourthly, one that was mentioned in the YouTube comments, Antonio from Ep. 11 was said to be working at a Crystal shop, had a somewhat similar experience where his mind was directly connected to ✨the horrors✨over a long period of time, and was also under a fake name. They said that maybe this would explain why that one guy looked at her sadly, maybe he was “Antonio” and knew what was going on, and while I’m not 100% sold on the idea, I thought it was interesting.

So…yeah. That was…an experience. Suffice to say, I am terrified. I’m terrified of Jane, for Jane, for Jon, for The Institute, and for my sanity as I delve deeper into the never ending rabbit hole that is The Magnus Archives. (I have 168 episodes left, Christ.) This episode is phenomenal, and there’s probably a lot I didn’t even talk about but…I think I’m going to lie down now, maybe get an exterminator contact ready just in case…auuughhhh.

- Episode 33, Boatswain’s Call ⛴️

Statement of Carlita Sloane, regarding her work on a container ship traveling from Porto do Itaqui to Southampton.

Oh thank god some time to breathe after last episode. I mean…not really, but you know what I mean. I’ll start off with what is the obvious highlight of the episode: TIM!!! I said earlier that I feel like he has bastard energy, and I was…kind of right about that? He’s nicer than I expected though. As for whether I love or hate him…yeah I’m leaning towards loving him, he’s fun :). Also, I absolutely love how they retconned errors in previous episodes at the beginning, that’s super funny and a really clever workaround to discrepancies. But how about the statement? Well, I will start with my one slight critique, that being that this is one of the least scary episodes for me so far. Which like, I feel like Rusty Quill knows that, since Jon outright says there’s nothing really paranormal here, but it’s ultimately whatever. Still though, the atmosphere here was really well done, the whole vibe of a creepy boat was captured very well through the writing, no outright big scares in the episode, but it did a very good job keeping me on edge. One of the moments that did genuinely make me pretty damn scared was when Carlita was digging through the shipping containers, and was then called out to the lifeboat by the rest of the crew. As someone with a very deep fear of being caught doing something people don’t want me to do, (even though my cowardly ass would never even bother), that certainly made me feel really uneasy, even though she was fine in the end. There’s not a whole lot to say here honestly, other than a few observations and theories. Firstly, I’m really glad we got some more insight into The Lukas Family! Episode 13 is still a favorite for me, so it’s nice to see connections to it showing up. This episode didn’t really reveal that much, other than that they help fund the institute, which like, is good way to keep them from investigating the weird shit the family seems to get up to honestly. And given the presence of the fog, as well as the overarching theme of isolation present with them, if I didn’t think they were responsible for what happened in Episode 13 already, I absolutely think so now. I also do really think that Evan was a family traitor of some kind, since he was very social, which opposes what the family seems to stand for. Lastly, I’ll mention my thoughts on Sean Kelly. I definitely believe that the crew of The Tundra killed him, but I also wonder if he was responsible for what was making the crew so antisocial, as that would explain why they started acting social after his death. It also makes me wonder whether or not I’m supposed to believe that the captain was involved or not….hm. Overall a good episode, I liked it, but there’s not much more to say on it.

Ok there is actually one other thing I did actually notice in retrospect. It’s very interesting to me that despite this being arguably the LEAST paranormal statement so far, despite the connections to The Lukas Family, Jon still seems very certain that something is weird here, more than he usually is. It really feels like everything with Jane has given him a new perspective…I’m scared…

- Episode 34, Anatomy Class 🍎

Statement of Dr. Lionel Elliot, regarding a series of events that took place during his class, ‘Introduction to Human Anatomy and Physiology’ at King’s College, London. Statement taken direct from subject.

So, fun fact, before I really got into TMA, this was one of the episodes I had heard mentioned here and there, and I knew nothing about it, other than the fact that people really seemed to like it. And now that I’ve finally listened to it myself, I can absolutely see why. Firstly, I’ll start off a bit by talking about Dr. Elliot, as I thought he was a pretty interesting character. I just kind of liked his general vibe, and his voice actor did a fantastic job at selling how distraught he was by the experience, although it does make me hope he’ll be ok after everything that happened to him. I also loved his conversation with Jon at the beginning (he’s awesome for respecting the tape recorder btw), and while it is a bit of a shame to see Jon go back to not really believing a case that much, I still felt like it was decently justifiable here, as the evidence admittedly isn’t the best. (Also his reaction to the apple was fantastic lmao.) But as for the actual statement, I agree with the common sentiment that it was…kind of cute? Like, don’t get me wrong, it is still a damn scary scenario. The weird shit the students get up to, the fact they are very clearly not human, their general vibe, and the implication that they killed a professor who failed to teach them are all horrifying, but…I don’t know, there’s some very real charm to this one as well. Like, even though their motives for wanting to seem more human are probably more sinister than this, I do like to imagine that they’re just wanting to relate to humans, so they decided to…enroll in college I guess. Like, if Dr. Elliot vibed with them more, this could have spun off into a very fun, slightly morbid college comedy. I do also love how genuinely polite they were as well, like, all of this considered, I absolutely get why people love this episode, it’s just genuinely very creative and a lot of fun. As for theories, honestly I don’t have that many, although someone in the YouTube comments (which by the way, I REALLY need to thank everyone there for being very resistant to spoiling, it means a whole lot for new listeners like myself), stated that there were some odd similarities between certain things that happened in this episode, and some of the stuff found in the bags in Episode 5. It makes me wonder if all of the bin bags contained discarded research materials being used by the students (which actually makes the art student jokes people were making in the comments even funnier in retrospect), and if the “him” Alan Parfitt came across was one of the students. Oh, and all of the bone imagery kind of reminds me of Episode 17 as well, and the teeth stuff kind of reminds me of Episode 10 (maybe the anatomy students are vampires…hm.) Outside of that, this was just a really fun and great episode, and I hope that Dr. Elliot comes back in the future just to see where this potential plot line could go.

- Episode 35, Old Passages 🔨

Statement of Harold Silvana, regarding discoveries made during the renovation of the Reform Club, Pall Mall.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH I’M SCARED!!!!!!! Man, this final quarter has been REALLY solid so far, like, the fact that Hive, Anatomy Class, and now this are so close together is genuinely stunning. Once again, there is QUITE a bit to unpack here, so I’ll take it one step at a time. I’ll start by talking about the elements of the episode that are…less brainrot inducing, as that’s easiest to discuss. Firstly, I remember that Sasha mentioned a “Harold Silvana” case back in Episode 24, so it’s really cool to see that brought back here! But moving on from that neat little tidbit, I’ll start talking about the actual statement. Yeah this one was just really creepy. The story itself was a bit shorter than other statements, but it still did a good job at creating dread. The hallways underneath the club were genuinely very unnerving, and it was also sad to see Alfred die, I thought that Harold’s comment about there being little to no one to remember him was pretty depressing. I also do wonder if the reason the members of The Reform Club didn’t want the architects to get involved with it any further was because they were aware of the hallways, and maybe making use of the strange forces down there. I mean, it just feels kind of fitting to have a high society like faction be involved in some shady business, you know? Also, I noticed that Jon’s vocal delivery of Harold was quite in line with his usual voice, which just makes me feel like they would get along if they met, idk. But honestly, while I think that the basic plot of this episode is still good, it PALES in comparison to the amount of connections it provides. Firstly, Jurgen Leitner. This fucking guy. You know what, I think the guy who made the rant about him was right, why DOES he have so many fucked up books? I…genuinely don’t know what to think of this guy. On one hand, his irritable nature that’s displayed here, and his desire to have all of this dangerous literature do raise some red flags, but it’s also possible that he only wishes to keep these books safe from those who would use them from bad purposes, as there’s no real record of him doing anything bad with them. Still though…he unnerves me, but it was cool to finally have him actually appear in a statement. Secondly, GERARD KEAY LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOO. I don’t even KNOW where this guy stands morally, but I just get happy whenever this weird little emo man shows up and I don’t know why. Anyways, I…think that this helps piece the timeline surrounding him together…a bit. What I can say for certain is that the Leitner he got here is the same one Mary Keay uses in Episode 4 (which might also be The Boneturner’s Tale, but I doubt it since that one revolves around bending already existing bones, while this one is about creating new ones), so it must have come into her hands some time after this episode. But outside of that, all of the things this episode did that surrounded him was just make me more intrigued, honestly. After Episode 12, I started to think that he was against some evil forces, like his mother and the other guy in the hospital, but that he probably still served his own forces (given the creepy eye symbolism, which I do believe is evil given the church in Episode 20 and the crypt in Episode 23), so he comes off as kind of an anti-villain to me. And this episode didn’t really change that, although I do question his motives for grabbing the Leitner. He’s seemingly been established to have a negative relationship with his mother as an adult, but given that he was younger here, I wonder if they were on better terms in the past, and he actually gave the Leitner to her out of his own will before a potential fall out. Eh, food for thought, I just think he’s really neat. (Making a cut because this is very long now.)

Thirdly, we have Robert Smirke. Firstly, I checked and he was indeed a real person! I’m very glad to see the podcast slightly demonize a British Museum architect, that feels deserved honestly. Ok, I say demonize because this guy built a bunch of terrifying hallways, but granted he could be good idk. Assigning characters strict moral alignments at this point is pretty hard tbh. Anyways, I don’t have that much to say about Smirke himself, other than that I think he was definitely involved with at least one of the major cults we’ve seen, and that he might have ties to some of the recurring creepy churches we’ve seen so far. …I might have to check if the real person actually worked on Hither Green Chapel or not, just in case. What does concern me is the hallways. Obviously, thirteen is a bad sign (I know it’s technically fourteen but like you get the idea, it’s framed as thirteen in the script when the architects enter the central room), but someone in the comments pointed out odd similarities between the hallways and previous episodes. Ones that stood out to me was one that was described as entirely dark, another with cobwebs in it, and the first corridor, which was described in an EERILY similar manner to Lost Johns’ Cave. I don’t know, it very well might just be me going insane, but I feel like the passages here are meant to reprisent certain…feelings throughout the series. Maybe not more sentient entities like, for example, The Anglerfish, but like, I could see a corridor similar to the weird foggy graveyard from Episode 13, or the dreams from Episode 11. Basically I think the passages are meant to connect to the more environmental horrors we’ve seen so far. It’s just…AGH THIS PODCAST IS DRIVING ME INSANE AND I’M BARELY COHERENT ANYMORE. Ok, I’ll wrap things up with some brief comments on the ending. Oh dear god the ending. Firstly, is it wrong that Jon’s surprise at the worms in his office made me jump more than anything else in the show so far? Like, considering how terrifying these statements are…that just feels like a disservice from me to the writers and directors, Idk. But secondly (ignoring the worms because I’ve gone on long enough about them)…Breekon and Hope��hi….oh no. They…they were very creepy…I’m guessing they’re twins because they’re very Shining-core to me….and considering that they are the same men who showed up in Episode 2 (or at least prominent to the delivery company those men were a part of)….I do not like the idea of them giving a package to Jon. Needless to say I do not want Jon to open that package. I think that is a bad idea. And I do not like how they encouraged Martin to turn off the recording. I…I think I’m going to go to bed now…

Speaking of bed, I’m sorry if this one wasn’t very coherent lmao. I’m just really tired right now and…yeah this podcast is pulling me into a very deep rabbit hole that I do not think I was prepared for as I thought I would be. Well, anyways, hopefully my incoherency at the very least makes it clear how insane I am about this episode. (Oh also I checked and no, Robert Smirke did not work on Hither Green Chapel, but I still find his work on churches interesting…)

- Episode 36, Taken Ill ✋

Statement of Nicole Baxter, regarding visits culminating in the fire that consumed Ivy Meadows Care Home in Woodley, Greater Manchester.

Unlike last episode, which is just making my brain spiral until it turns to goo, this one was definitely a bit more digestible. That being said…AAAAGUHFGHHGGHHHHHJJJJKKKKKKKKKNGDFGHHJJBFFHHJJNN!!!! I am in LOVE with how everything is coming together, it’s just, UGH it’s so satisfying! The amount of recurring elements, the fact that so many theories and bits of foreshadowing are being validated, it’s just…YES! I LOVE THIS PODCAST SO FUCKING MUCH AND I’M BOTH EXCITED AND TERRIFIED FOR THE END OF THE SEASON! JANE IS COMING HOME BITCHES!!!! Ok…sorry I just needed to get that out of my system, now I’ll talk about this depressing ass statement. Because yes, this one was really messed up! Seeing such a lovely sweet place where the people were able to find community even in their somewhat dire circumstances get absolutely torn apart by an even more terrifying version of death from rot and illness, which already majorly affects the elderly in real life….yeah it was upsetting! I mean, it was good, fantastic storytelling as always but DAMN. Also as someone who does have quite a notable fear of just…generally gross shit, this one did hit home quite a bit. The part where it’s implied Nicole cut off her own hand due to the constant pestilence coming back to haunt her (which did actually remind me of the history of the house on Hill Top Road, as well as the ghost spider…hm…), was genuinely kind of hard to stomach. Honestly the only thing about this episode that WASN’T terrifying was the humor of Nicole’s uncle keeping his estranged partner’s name in his business out of spite. That was actually very funny. So yeah, overall a very terrifying statement, but what about…✨the connections✨ (yeah they get the sparkles as well, who are you to judge). So starting with the obvious, the similarities to The Flesh Hive and Jane Prentiss. I do indeed think that the mysterious force here is either the same thing or something VERY adjacent to The Flesh Hive (but also the yellow shit in Episode 18), and that this episode 100% confirms that Jane isn’t being controlled or anything, but is dead, and the hive is just controlling her body now (which like, was already pretty obvious, but this just confirms it to me.) However, one thing that concerns me about these similarities more than anything else is John Amherst. From my point of view, it was implied that Mr. Amherst was consciously responsible for the spread of the illness, which is in stark contrast to Jane, who only started spreading her worms due to her infection and loss of sanity. This makes me thing that maybe John was somehow involved in getting the hive to absorb Jane, but really who knows? I do admittedly think it would be more interesting if Jane was chosen by the hive itself, but still, I think it would be interesting if her apotheosis was a part of some greater plot. Another thing that ties to Jane that I’m kind of curious about is Nicole’s opening words about fear, which Jon compares to Jane’s statement. It just got me thinking about some other theories which then made me think…what if the eldritch horrors that seem to be behind everything, the things that all of the cults worship, are meant to represent different fears. What if that’s what the different passages in Episode 35 represent (so like, claustrophobia for the first passage, and then stuff like the dark, falling and spiders for other ones.) This theory still needs a LOT of time to flesh itself out, but I’ll put a list of what I think some of the eldritch forces are after I write about the rest of the episode. I might be crazy, but given how “fear” is reoccurring throughout as a theme, more so than a lot of other horror, I have to wonder about this.

Ok, another thing that rattled my brain was…TREVOR THE FUCKING TRAMP? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD? At first I thought he and his companion might be The Fairchilds from Episode 21, but the reveal of his actual identity was a complete shock. Not that I’m complaining though, he’s one of my favorite statement givers so far. Either way, I’m very curious about his presence here, as well as the identity of his companion, and what role they might serve in the plot. Considering that it’s implied they burnt down the care home, and that Trevor hunts vampires for a living, I feel like these guys are probably trying to combat the horrors, but much like Gerard, I wonder if it’s for entirely moral purposes. And finally we have the ending. Oh boy the ending. I know I’m always saying “this is terrifying” or “the archives are in deep shit now” or something along those lines like…whenever ANYTHING relevant happens at the institute, but like, can you blame me? This is mortifying, I do not want my favorite workplace comedy cast to end up in grave danger, and yet I have to cope with the fact that they probably already are. So, the lighter isn’t the most concerning thing ever, I mean, the spider web pattern is interesting, and given the prominence of cigarettes (as well as Gerard’s lighter in Episode 12), I know I should be suspicious about it. But honestly? I’m more concerned about the table. Because…of course I am. I don’t know what this table does, I just know that it is creepy, that anything Breekon and Hope deliver is bad news, that the implication they gave it to Graham Folger is also terrifying, and that I do not like it’s presence in the artifact storage. Why I am I even saying this, of course I’m scared, you should already know that I am not prepared for whatever comes up in these last four episodes, and beyond. End recording or whatever the fuck.

Ok, so as promised here’s what I think some of ✨the horrors✨ are, and what episodes I think they might appear in

- The Anglerfish (1, 28)

- The Sky, I Guess (4, 21)

- The Flesh Hive (6, 22, 26, 32, 36, maybe 18)

- The War Incarnate? (7)

- Heat aligned entity, called Asag? (8, 12, 18, 20)

- The darkness (9, 15, 25)

- Eyes (4, 12, 20, 23)

- Something aligned with isolation (13, 33)

- Bone Thing (4, 14, 17, 35) (This could be the same thing as the sky due to their connection with Leitners)

- Spiders (16, 22, 32, 35, 36 via the lighter)

- MEAT (18, 30)

- Whatever The Circus of The Other serves (24)

- “Micheal” (26, maybe 8?)

- And then probably something I’m missing due to the 14 corridors

I excluded some things like shapeshifters and vampires, since they seem to be species, Breekon and Hope, The Keay and Lukas Familes, Jurgen Leitner, etc., because they all seem to be servants of ✨the horrors✨ rather than horrors themselves (although I do think “Micheal” is an exception based on vibes alone), stuff like the table and the coffin, which are more like creepy artifacts than anything else, and then other stuff like whatever was trying to get inside Paul McKenzie’s room, which I just don’t know enough about. But…yeah! The ideas are very scattered right now, but I feel like I’m slowly piercing together what the horrific forces of this world might be (on the assumption that’s what we’re dealing with here, which I see no reason not to honestly)

UPDATE: Ok so after some thought I’m not too sure about the idea of ✨the horrors✨ literally representing different types of fear. I think that could still be the case with the passages, but the things I presume to be eldritch beings (like whatever is behind all the bones), while obviously not devoid of themes, are just a bit too specific for this to work. I still think the things I listed are likely to be big bad eldritch horrors, I just think I was a little bit off with what I think they represent, and I need to rethink my steps. Also, this is all on the assumption that there is more than one big evil here. I think it’s likely due to a lot of Gerard’s dialogue in Episode 12, but yeah…this theory only works if another theory is also true. Either way, I do think that the podcast will really delve into fear as a concept, and the psychology behind it, as time goes on, based on themes alone. Ok I’ve talked long enough, on to episode 37.

- Episode 37, Burnt Offering 🍼

Statement of Jason North, regarding the discovery of an alleged ritual site found near Loch Glass in Scotland.

If there was any episode that proves a shorter one isn’t necessarily a worse one, it was absolutely this. Because while the statement is short, and comparatively simple compared to a lot of others, DAMN. I really liked this one. However, I’ll start simple with the stuff that happened outside the statement. Firstly, man…poor Jon. It’s been really interesting but also…really sad seeing his mental state deteriorate over the course of the season, and I hope that he’ll at least be able to get some rest at some point in the near future, although it does feel like a storm is going to come soon. I also found Martin’s scene here interesting as well, as you can tell that he’s still feeling nervous after what happened in Episode 22, and that things haven’t exactly gotten better. The other thing of note is the table, which…yeah, it’s still worrying. I don’t know WHAT this thing does, although I do think it’s interesting that it shows up in an episode that seems to involve the heat related entity from Episode 12 and the Hill Top Road statements. This is because I strongly suspect that the box Ivo found beneath the tree belonged was actually the missing piece of the table, so I feel as if maybe it connects to the heat entity. This might also mean that Graham’s stress could’ve been due to the heat, as well as the monster that stole his identity, although I do have to question where exactly this would fit in with Episode 12. Still though, this does all intrigue me. I also find it curious that the box Ivo found contained an apple with spiders inside (which also kind of brings back thoughts about Episode 34), and that the other thing Breekon and Hope brought to Jon was a lighter with a spiderweb design on it. I’m connecting the dots! (I’m not connecting shit, am I.) But as for the statement…yikes. This is up there with Jane’s statement as being one of the most visceral, one where you really understand the mental state of the author. Like, you can FEEL Jason’s pain here, and having him get genuinely angry with the institute at the beginning was kind of chilling. Obviously it’s not the first time that’s happened, but usually the people who got angry with the institute were ones giving statements live, while here, you hear that anger coming from Jon’s mouth and it’s…off. Also, can I just say that this guy got screwed over so badly? He literally just dropped a bottle of old milk on the ground, and then as punishment he had his entire life literally set ablaze, and had to kill himself to protect his 4-year old son. That’s genuinely like…so fucked up and it’s not even something I can joke about! Really the only thing I can joke about is the mention of Pine Martins being tiny and adorable, which to me is meant to say that Martin Blackwood is tiny and adorable (if that wasn’t already obvious to me.) God I love Martin so much….What was I talking about? Oh yeah,✨the horrors✨. So I guess the only thing left to talk about now is connections.

Well, as I stated earlier, I think the eldritch entity associated with heat that has likely appeared multiple times before appears here as well, obviously. And if Ep. 12 didn’t already give me suspicions, this one absolutely solidified that there is a cult serving this entity. It doesn’t say much about the history of the house on Hill Top Road or what was going on with the man in the hospital, but it’s interesting nonetheless. But of course, the most interesting thing here is the bottles with pictures of Gertrude Robinson in them. …Oh dear. Firstly, I learned that this scene was actually inspired by the experiences of a real person on an old Rusty Quill forum, which is really cool! But aside from that, I’m wondering…is this meant to tell us how Gertrude died? I initially thought her presence here was meant to tell me that she might have been more evil than I initially thought, but now I’m kind of wondering if she was against the cult that serves the heat, and they killed, or at the very least attempted to kill her via a ritual in the woods. And if that’s the case, why not do the same with Gerard, who also seemed to be against this cult? Unless the brain tumor was somehow caused by the cult? I. HAVE. SO. MANY. QUESTIONS!!!! There are three episodes of this season left….aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA-

Unrelated side note: A thought that popped into my head earlier was that maybe Breekon and Hope were the people who stole the calliope organ in Episode 24. I mean, it seems in character based on what we know of them, and it did end up in artifact storage like the table…Also, I found Martin’s description of them really weird? Like, what do you MEAN they were normal, mother fuckers spoke like the twins from The Shining! AND WHO THE HELL IS ROSIE??!! Ok goodnight :).

- Episode 38, Lost and Found 🏺

Statement of André Ramao, regarding a series of misplaced objects lost over the course of three months.

Ok yes, the vase was absolutely a gaslighting homophobe, there, I SAID IT, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! (Ok but in all seriousness I think the fact everyone agrees this is the vase’s motivation is absolutely hilarious, if it ends up being canon I will laugh my ass off.) Anyways, enough humor, because things are SERIOUS now. I’ll give my overall thoughts on the statement first. Honestly, when you remove the absurd nature of what’s going on, this one was genuinely very visceral and heartbreaking. I’ve seen people say that this one is a commentary on the fear of losing things, and while I absolutely agree, the main takeaway I got was the commentary on materialism, and how if you place too much value on material possessions you will lose the things you truly cherish. I think you can really tell that through the way André treats his husband through the story. Like, he talks about getting into a fight with him, and being angry when he started trying to contact doctors, and while I’m sure there was obviously love there, I don’t think André realized how much his husband mattered to him until it was too late. It’s not the most subversive or complex metaphor of all time, but I still think it really works and that it’s pretty damn powerful. It hurts even more with how he does eventually get all of those material possessions back, but still loses his husband. And while I COULD complain about the show’s first somewhat prominent gay couple being buried, I know that’s it’s not because of their sexuality, but because it’s the fucking Magnus Archives, where no happiness is allowed. I also find it concerning that André knows the vase is still stealing things (…writing that down really puts into perspective how nutty this podcast can be), it makes me wonder if it might be in the artifact storage somewhere…oh no. Mentioning artifact storage, what about Mikaele Salesa? So, I checked to see if he appeared in any previous episodes, and he did, back in Episode 14! Unfortunately, that doesn’t really give us much information on him outside of his appearance, but it does prove to me that he’s at least somewhat important. I will say that he really did remind me a lot of Breekon and Hope, which does make me wonder if there’s a connection between them. The only thing that I found to be a very notable difference is that Mikaele has some level of fear towards ✨the horrors✨, while Breekon and Hope seem do be in direct service of them. That doesn’t necessarily make Mikaele a good person, I mean, I definitely think that he knew about the vase, but just pretended not to to save his own skin, but he might not be like…an evil mastermind that wants to spread ✨the horrors✨ wherever he goes, which I get the vibe of from a lot of other characters. But outside of that, there were a good few odd similarities to other episodes. I found it interesting that the war-related items in Mikaele’s warehouse were from The American Revolution and World War 1 respectively, as those are the wars that the only war-related episodes so far have taken place in (those being 7 and 29.) I also definitely think that Mikaele had Leitners in his possession, and I felt like the description of the vase’s pattern was very similar to that of the table, which should be more relevant than ever. Some other things that the vase reminded me of was the impersonator from Episode 3, what with the way that it successfully gaslights everyone aside from the statement giver and…debatably the archival staff, although I don’t think they count since as far as I’m concerned none of them were directly involved with the events of these statements. I initially thought that the creepy hand was supposed to be David, but someone in the YouTube comments said that it could be the same hand from Episode 15, which is….concerning, given how scary that one was. I do wonder if that means this statement connects back to The People’s Church of The Divine Host though, since I felt like that was involved with Episode 15. But with all of that out of the way, there’s the end of the episode. I am hyperventilating so bad.

So yeah….Jane came home I guess. I’m…very interested to see whatever happens in the next episode. All I know is that I’m absolutely in what you’d consider the season finale now. I do have a couple of thoughts here, outside of just being terrified. Because obviously, the way that Jon just smashed that spider is very similar to the events of Episode 16, which brings multiple concerns. Firstly, I initially thought that Jon’s decision to kill it was a bit stupid given his knowledge of that statement, but then I remembered that it was almost as if an external force was compelling Carlos Vittery to kill that spider, so I assume the same thing happened to Jon. And if so….please don’t wrap my boy’s corpse up in webs :(. Secondly, since the killing of the spider causes the worms to conveniently burst in, I wonder if that was why the mysterious force was compelling Carlos to kill the spider. I mean, the worms WERE in his apartment, so maybe killing the ghost spider (which I assume is the same one we see here) is somehow capable of summoning the worms, meaning that….Carlos Vittery could be a part of The Flesh Hive?! Or at least there was an attempt to make that happen like with Harriet Lee? …Sometimes the connections really make my brain melt. And finally, I’m now wondering if the reason as to why the spider even showed up was due to the lighter Jon received from Breekon and Hope, since it had a spiderweb design on it. I mean, they obviously have a knack for giving people things that lures ✨the horrors✨ to them, so I would not be that surprised if this theory ends up being correct. (Also, if Jon was to set the worms on fire with the very same lighter that might have summoned them to him…that would be a massive power move that would make me very happy.) But more than anything, this just gets me thinking even more about that damn table. WHY IS IT HERE? IS IT GOING TO SUMMON THE HEAT TO GET RID OF THE WORMS? DOES THAT MAKE BREEKON AND HOPE A NEUTRAL PARTY IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS? AM I EVER GOING TO GET ANSWERS?! …..I’m not prepared for this season finale.

do you think this is what the vase looked like

- Episode 39, Infestation 🧯

Original recording of Jane Prentiss’ attack upon The Magnus Institute, London.

WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT FUCKING MINDS DECIDED THAT YOU CAN JUST END THE EPISODE LIKE THAT?! LIKE, IN RETROSPECT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OBVIOUS THAT THE SEASON FINALE WOULD BE A TWO-PARTER BUT GOOOOOOOODD!!!! So fun fact, I was so scared going in to this episode that I took two days off listening to mentally prepare myself, and even after that…THIS ONE SCARED ME MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE!!! Did I like it? Absolutely! It’s at the very least in my top 4 episodes, in fact, I think it might only be barely beaten by Episode 32, and it’s very close competition. As someone who’s really liked all of the stuff that happens in the institute, and with the institute staff, this episode was a dream come true, and with the way things are being set up, I’m really excited by the prospect of there being more episodes like this in the future seasons. But…jfc. This is….a LOT. Now, due to the fact that this episode is structured very differently than anything else before it, and because I have so much to say, I’m just going to dedicate different paragraphs to a specific recording each, so I can make my thoughts clear and concise. Starting with…

The second recording. Look, the first one is basically a bunch of chaotic screaming and worms, I don’t know what else you would expect me to say. So the first thing I want to address is that we finally get to see members of the archival staff interacting as a group. I already did feel like their comments on one another give a good look at their dynamic, but it was nice to see it in person, despite the horrific and perilous situation they’re in :). But what are some other things. Well, even though this is shown in later recordings in the episode, I’ll just put it here that I really like how Martin is characterized here. The scene with him in Episode 37, as well as most of his scenes here really do show a new level of confidence and just flesh him out really nicely. There’s some morbid humor in him carrying around a corkscrew to get rid of the worms, and…yeah! I just really like him, he’s definitely one of my favorite characters so far. The main beef of this recording however is the stuff we get from Jon. Not only is the overarching theme of the episode, that being the desire to be remembered, conveyed really well through his dialogue here, but it felt like this scene came with some…nice closure, I guess. We’ve seen Jon become less and less skeptical as time goes on, especially in this final fourth of the season, but it felt really gratifying for him to just straight up admit that what’s happening is real. But there were also quite a couple of intriguing things that he said. Firstly is his comments about Gertrude. He makes the suggestion that she could potentially be alive, and while I doubt that due to her presence in Antonio’s dreams, and the fact that her supposed date of death was when The People’s Church of The Divine Host did a creepy ritual, it does just make me more curious about what truly happened to her. All things considered, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that ghosts exist in this universe so…I don’t know, maybe we’ll see her come back in a way, but I don’t think she’s…entirely alive. The other curious thing was the reveal about the statements. We already knew that something prevented them from being uploaded to computers, but now we know that this only applies to statements that are real. This not only means that Jon has…basically no excuse at this point to be a skeptic, but that I am getting VERY curious about the tapes and the statements on a fundamental level. I’ll touch on it a bit more later, but it does feel like there’s more to the framing device of the podcast itself here than meets the eye, and it is EXCITING me. Anyways, on to the next recording. (I’m still just contemplating that THIS episode came after the homophobic vase one. Holy shit.)

Tim….please never die. I mean, I know it’s funny that I say that since he was VERY close to death here (and could still die in the next one but like…I doubt it because of the fact we already probably have one major death…I’ll touch on that later…), and also because I’ve only known him for two episodes but like…he’s so cool man I can’t help it. “Statement of Joe Spooky regarding sinister happenings” is by far the funniest line in the podcast so far, perfect for the season finale, and…I WAS SO WORRIED FOR HIM UAAAAAGGGHHH!!! Like, the death flags were hoisted HIGH, so I’m glad he survived this episode….even if it probably came at the expense of another character, unfortunately. Ok, I’ll get to that when I get to that. Really not much more to say here other than “Tim is funny and I’m scared”, although hey! It’s Jane! I mean it’s really cool to finally hear her voice but she had one line so I don’t know what else to add. Regardless, time for the kind of wholesome but also ominous as shit recording!

Look, while they are obviously still in peril, while there are certainly some very concerning implications here, while they are still arguing…this one was kind of nice. Obviously Jon and Martin are very different people, and are still quite a ways off from sorting out all of their differences, but…this was very nice. Considering how much Jon belittles Martin in early S1, having him talk to him like this, in a situation where they are both equals, it’s genuinely very gratifying, and probably the most earnest Jon has ever been, as well as the most confident Martin has ever been. Obviously I love it when Jon is a mean asshole and when Martin is just a little guy, but this felt like really good character development for both of them. But outside of that, the most interesting thing here is a look into Jon’s psyche, and why he acts a skeptical as he does. Firstly, the fact that he actually joined the institute due to a genuine belief in the paranormal does make me wonder…what the hell happened to him. I mean, the institute doesn’t seem like the most fun place to work at in the world, nor the most mainstream, so like…I’m getting a lot more curious about Jon’s past now, and the same goes for Martin’s, maybe even more since we learn even less about his reasons for joining the institute than with Jon, and more about his reasons for staying there after Jane forced him into hiding. But obviously, the most ominous thing to me here was how Jon said he felt like he was being…watched. This could mean…genuinely so many things, but to me, I felt like the meaning was a PERSONAL ATTACK. Like, it doesn’t HAVE to be, but given that the podcast already has some decent potential for meta elements, are…are they trying to say that I’M the one tormenting Jon?! Because, like…yeah, I have wanted to see him start admitting that the statements are real! And I have been watching him! (or I guess listening, but…shut up…) In fact, it’s especially damning for someone like me, because I don’t listen to TMA in the background or anything, I sit my ass down, stare at the screen and start taking notes. I…I don’t know where this whole thing will go but for now I’m offended. (But like, if this metaphor ends up being true that I must say…that is some BRILLIANT writing.) There was also Jane’s weird actions here, with how she was seemingly destroying statements and papers. This isn’t exactly surprising, after all, she did suggest that the reason The Flesh Hive wants Jon dead is because as an archivist, his job is to understand things, which the hive seemingly doesn’t want unless it opens its arms to someone directly (very finally fitting if I might add), but still…it’s curious to me. Considering how this whole recording gets you to think about what’s up with the statements, I feel like maybe The Flesh Hive knows a bit more than others do… Finally, we have the ghost conversation, which is really funny and a great character moment for Jon and especially Martin, but like…what if though…what if…

ELIAS BOUCHARD IS A SKETCHY ASS MAN. This guy has only shown up ONCE before this episode, and when he finally returns he is…unnervingly chill about the whole situation. Like, he is just…NOT concerned about the attack, he seems a tad bit too comfortable with the prospect of Jon and Martin dying via C02, and he’s just…he’s just really fucking sketchy. I can’t remember if I’ve stated it before, but from what we’ve seen and heard of him, I’ve always gotten the vibes that Elias knows a lot more than he lets on. Like, in the way that he’s been working at the institute long enough to know that there’s something really weird about it, (which btw, thinking about how weird the institute is does really get me thinking about it’s founding a lot more…my brain is melting…) and he wants to stay away from the weird shit as far as possible. Some suspicious things with him are his reluctance to antagonize The Lukas Family which is…understandable, I guess, if they help keep the institute around, but then there’s the fact that he clearly knows more about Gertrude than everyone else, but is being REALLY quiet about it, exemplified via what Jon says about him in Episode 11. And then there’s the fact that later on, Sasha mentions how he has a tendency to change the subject and…yeah…I don’t know how to feel about him. Honestly all I have to say about this recording corresponds with Elias, so I’ll just move on to the next one.

Ok, so since these recordings are pretty short, and Sasha’s last one is….woah…I’m just going to cover the last two that have Jon and Tim in them briefly here. As expected, Tim continues to be comedy gold. Him bursting through the wall and being super chill (and not in the creepy Elias way) was honestly just want I needed. I did NOT need him pulling…something off though, but…whatever. Also the reveal of Martin recording poetry was fantastic, I need that to be a spin-off ASAP. Magnus Protocol? Never heard of it. The men of the archives are the only men to ever exist and they all deserve their own show. Anyways, after Tim completes his re-enactment of The Shining, they head into the tunnels (which I did not know were a thing), and I get scared yet again. I…am very concerned for Martin, I do not like how he ran off, and I do not like the noises that play at the end of the episode. That is all I have to say here. This is an absolutely terrifying way to end the episode, but it is frustrating in the best way, and if I wasn’t shaking as I write this I would have immediately jumped to the next episode. But…there is one other scene, one that honestly, would’ve worked just as well, if not BETTER, as an ending to the episode. That is, of course, the one scene that has terrified me more than anything else in the podcast so far. The scene that stars:

That. Mother. Fucking. Table. I thought it was at least…somewhat safe. I thought that it would tie into…Hill Top Road, or something, that it would just be something for Jon to glean some information from later on! But I was a fool. I should’ve known that the Anatomy Class shenanigans were (probably) foreshadowing. I should’ve known that the GOD DAMN IMPERSONATOR WAS COMING BACK. JON! WHY DIDN’T YOU DESTROY IT YOU VICTORIAN BUFFOON?! I’m…I’m fucking shook man. I might have been fearful for Tim but…for a split second there, I thought everyone would make it out alive. I mean, we’ve seen Sasha in like, what, three episodes before this, and she only starred in one? She had to live so that we’d see more of her! But no…I got completely blindsided. Sasha James, this really cool character who I wanted to see succeed after her encounter with Bonyhands McGee, is most likely dead. It might sound like I’m genuinely upset with the decision, and while I’m absolutely sad and terrified, I do think they can go really interesting places with this. I mean, I’m going on the assumption that what happened to her is what happened to Graham Folger in Episode 3, meaning that we know have something impersonating her, meaning that she could be explored even after her presumed death. On top of that, like…what if the effect of no one recognizing a difference between the OG Graham and the “Not Graham” applies to Sasha! Because if so, this could be a genius example of having characters figure out something long after the audience being done really well! But overall…I’m mortified. As cool as these prospects are, there’s still a glimmer of hope in me that Sasha survives, that the archival team can deal with that fucking table as soon as possible. Which, by the way, I’m genuinely mad at myself for not catching on to that at first. I initially thought that the table had nothing to do with the main plot of Episode 3, outside of maybe increasing Graham’s paranoia, and that it was meant to foreshadow future events that tied into…idk, the house on Hill Top Road, given the box inside the tree. But nope! Apparently wherever the table goes, the impersonator follows! And if she is dead…man, I don’t know whether or not it’s a good thing that the thing she was afraid of dying from was not the one that killed her in the end… Outside of that, I mean, yeah, artifact storage was creepy as all hell, Sasha’s monologue made me go through five different emotions in the span of like…two minutes, and that one part, holy shit that one part. Hearing that weird noise, Sasha’s scream, and then a new voice repeating her last words it’s…uggghjhehehehjejejejjewjjekekwkekkdkwkekek. Wow, I hate this! I mean, I love it, but wow, I hate this! I mean, I love it, but wow, I hate this! I mean, I love it, but wow, I hate this! I mean, I love it, but wow, I hate this! I mean, I-

So..yeah. Good episode…I guess. I’m really scared. For everyone, Sasha especially. For everything, my sanity especially. I do not like the name of that season finale, it’s looking at me funny. I….I…I think I’m just going to go saw my foot off or something, maybe that’ll take my mind off of things. See you for the season finale! :,)

- Episode 40, Human Remains 🩹

Statements of Elias Bouchard, Tim Stoker, Sasha James, Martin Blackwood and Jonathan Sims, regarding the infestation of the Magnus Institute by the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss. Statements taken direct from subjects.

*Sigh*. I have listened to 40 episodes of this god-forsaken, trauma inducing podcast. I have stayed up at night wildly speculating about the connections between episodes, trying to solve the greater mystery. And for what? Well, I regret to inform you that, in the end, it was all for…A FANTASTIC SEASON FINALE. HOLY SHIT I’M SO EXCITED TO LISTEN TO SEASON 2 YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I mean, I’m obviously terrified, what with the amount of setup here, the cold realization that ✨the horrors✨ are somehow just going to affect the main cast more and more in the future, and…so much more, but WOW. This finale absolutely delivered and if I wasn’t already on board to see how the rest of the podcast plays out, I absolutely NEED to know now. So, like with last time, I’m going to divide my thoughts via the multiple parts this episode is divided into, so I’ll be going over each person’s statement. And let me tell you…there is some stuff to discuss. Starting off with my favorite(?) enigmatic CEO, Elias Bouchard!

So yeah, Elias is still sketchy as fuck. Oddly enough, despite this being the most time spent with him so far, which don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy about, but…yeah, I still don’t trust him all that much. I guess I’ll start off by talking about some of the general information revealed here. So firstly, no one’s really doing all that well! I mean, it’s expected, but still, I feel really bad for everyone here. You can tell in the opening how scarred Jon is by what happened (both mentally and physically)…which makes Elias’ relative chillness all the more strange. Also, while it is once again pretty obvious, I would just like to pay some respects to the absolute queen that was Jane Prentiss. Rest in relative peace Jane, I hope you’re getting people to join the hive in…well not heaven, she’s probably gone to superhell, but…yeah. Still kind of sad she only got one line from her own mouth. But back to Elias, there are two things he said that really came off as…like, especially odd. Firstly is how he said he got tired of what Jon was saying about the statements. This is weird because like…that’s his job? That Elias hires him to do? It really does add to the vibe that he knows of ✨the horrors✨, but is actively trying to avoid them as much as possible. It feels like they’re setting up an interesting parallel between him and Jon, who looks like he’s going to really start connecting the dots in Season 2. It also just kind of made me think about the implications of something…watching Jon, and it wanting him to admit the statements are real, since Elias seems to specifically be annoyed by Jon’s recent lack of doubt, at least in my eyes. But the other thing that really unnerved me here was what he had to say about Gertrude. His reluctance to talk about her death is one thing, but the fact that he says he found the blood-covered office on March 15, when in Episode 25 Jon says she was declared dead on May 15, is…just really strange. It could be a discrepancy on the writer’s part but…I don’t know, it feels like one of them has to be wrong here. And either way, since they retconned past discrepancies in the opening of Episode 33, they could absolutely work with that here. So yeah, not much more to add other than that I don’t trust Elias.

Poor Tim :(. The guy has been so funny and chipper in all of his past appearances, but here you could feel how beat down he was. After getting worms in his skin and having to spend more time in quarantine simply for being funny, this guy just can’t catch a break! I mean, I’m happy he’s alive, because I was genuinely very scared for his life in the last episode but…man, his last words in this episode really did sting. Anyways, the main takeaway from this statement is the info on the tunnels. This is…really creepy and I’m sure we’ll get a deeper look into it in Season 2, as this whole episode feels full of setup for what’s to come very soon, but for now they are just a very strange place. The way their ancient architecture is described, the worms’ behavior down there, and the…door they were trying to form? What else is even in there? Hell, is this why The Flesh Hive really wanted to attack the institute? To discover some secret in the tunnels? I don’t know, but I care a LOT.

No no no no no no no no no no no no no NO! THE WORST HAS COME TO PASS! The chances of her survival was slim, but I had the smallest sliver of hope that she would survive, but NO! Sasha’s gone UUUUUUUUAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!! What makes it so much worse is that WE KNOW, we’ve heard Sasha’s original voice, we’ve gotten a sense of her general vibe, the new her has creepy music in the background whenever she speaks, HER NAME IS LITERALLY “NOT!SASHA” IN THE FUCKING CREDITS. But Jon, Tim, Martin, they don’t! They don’t know, and I’ll be stuck having to watch them hang out with a monster that killed their friend for who knows how long! It’s excellent storytelling but GOOOOOD I’M SO SAD. And Not!Sasha herself, I mean…holy shit. She’s absolutely uncanny and terrifying, the fact that her tone and vibe are so noticeably different from the real Sasha, how she always responds with a “yes” to Jon, how she points out extremely obvious things, how she just…seems unfamiliar with things she should know about, just everything, it’s just so fucking scary! She’s just so..matter of fact, she’s like a robot in comparison to the real person. Honestly, her manner of speech is very in line with how I imagined the anatomy students sounding. But there are a lot of other weird things about this scene. Firstly, I think it’s curious that when “Micheal” is mentioned, Not!Sasha refers to him (and yes, I noticed she uses he/him, unlike OG Sasha who used it/its) as the one with “all the bones in his hands” which…almost perfectly lines up with what Ivo’s father said. I had my doubts about that theory, but now I feel pretty convinced by it. That just leaves me thinking about what connection he might have to the fractals. Now that I think about it, fractals kind of line up with the descriptions of strange patterns that have shown up, like the one on the table. And…well, given what happened, I can’t help but wonder if “Micheal” and Not!Sasha have a deeper connection to each other, especially since this is the first time he’s been brought up since Episode 26. (Maybe he’s impersonating the real Micheal…oh no that’s a whole new can of worms, pun not intended). Another thing is how Not!Sasha says Elias gave her a strange look. …THE MOTHERFUCKER KNOWS!!! WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM?! WHY?! Lastly, there’s some of the discrepancies that Not!Sasha has failed to avoid. Firstly, she should’ve been scarred by the worms like Jon and Tim but just…isn’t. Secondly, even though Jon doesn’t remember the original Sasha (which is…even more depressing when I put it into words…), he’s astute enough to realize that something is off with her. And finally, there’s the matter of the missing tapes. I checked, and they are indeed all of the tapes that Sasha appeared on. I think it’s likely Not!Sasha took them to learn about the role she has to play, but since there’s certainly something weird about the tapes, and this theme of truth being recorded on them…I have to wonder if she maybe stole them because the original Sasha’s voice is still on them, and you can straight up hear Sasha dying and being replaced on the one from Episode 39. With the logic presented in Episode 3, Sasha’s voice on the tapes should be replaced by that of Not!Sasha, but when you consider the framing device of the audience being people listening to these tapes, and the general weird things at play…I’m concerned. I think…I think Jon needs to get those tapes back as soon as possible. In short, I am very scared of the new archival assistant, and her mysterious connections.

MARTIN MY BELOVED!!! How is it legal for someone to be this sweet, he was genuinely so worried for Jon and I just want to give him a hug he’s so nice :(. But ultimately, as much as I feel for him, Martin is not the main focus here. The strange objects in the tunnels are not the main focus. The main focus here is the human remains. The remains of Gertrude Robinson. Wow. I…honestly thought it was going to take longer for her fate to come to light. I mean, there is still a lot that is obviously unknown, but to have her down here, confirmed to be dead, confirmed to be MURDERED…it’s making my brain go in so many directions. I guess I’ll start with the room she was found in. It’s…very concerning how similar it is to the archives. I don’t even know what it’s supposed to mean? Does it signify that the institute was built upon an older institute somehow? Are we not even going to bother checking out the tapes she left down there? I NEED TO KNOW. And, then, I mean, god the way she died. I was so convinced by all of the clues that she died some sort of gruesome eldritch fate, but hearing that she was simply shot…why is that so much more haunting. I mean, I have to assume there were still some weird circumstances surrounding her death as a whole, given clues in Episode 11 and Episode 25, but…it’s very concerning. And then there’s Jon’s words about this. Does that…DOES THAT MEAN THAT SEASON 2 IS A FUCKING MURDER MYSTERY?! BECAUSE I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT! Look, assuming that the murderer is indeed someone in the institute (which I say because Gertrude does seem to have made a good few enemies in her lifetime), then my fingers are already pointed at Elias due to how sketchy he is, but honestly…I’m afraid this is just another mystery that I don’t have to energy to fully crack right now. And Jon’s words at the end…please tell me he doesn’t resort to doing very stupid things that endanger his own life for the sake of the truth. Oh who am I kidding he probably will. But…wow, I’m just…I’m just so excited for Season 2.

So yeah…that’s Season 1 of The Magnus Archives. The fact that I already feel changed by this series, both for better and for worse, within the first season…it just gets me so excited and mortified all at once. There’s still so much story potential, so many mysteries to be solved, and I can’t wait to hear it all for myself. Honestly, the fact that there’s so many plot lines, and the only one to be kind of resolved The Flesh Hive and Jane Prentiss arc…that’s insane. So, I’m just going to leave a list of things I want answers on down here.

- The Anglerfish

- Breekon and Hope

- The Table and The Impersenator

- The Keay Family

- Micheal Crew

- Jurgen Leitner and his fucked up books

- The house on Hill Top Road

- The Heat Entity and its cult

- The People’s Church of The Divine Host

- Trevor Herbert and his companion

- Antonio Blake

- The Eyes

- The Lukas Family

- Mikaele Salesa

- The Meat

- The Spiders and The Lighter

- The Fairchilds

- Jonah Magnus and the founding of The Institute

- The Circus of The Other

- “Micheal” and The Fractals

- The true nature of The Flesh Hive

- Robert Smirke and his passages

- John Amherst and the infection

- The backstories of the main cast

- The death of Gertrude Robinson

- And finally, what the hell is going to happen next?

So, there’s a wrap on Season 1? Do I expect all of these questions to be answered in the next season? Absolutely not. Do I want all of them to be answered eventually? Yeah probably. If you’ve made it this far, thank you so, SO much. Like, you genuinely deserve an award for reading all of my insane rambling. I’ll be back with my thoughts on the first 10 episodes of Season 2 in due time, but for now, thank you and bye :).

[canirove]

The Princess & the Football Player | Chapter 34

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Wow, Ellie. Your face looks so red... Did I catch you shagging Declan?"

"Shagging?" I laugh.

"Yes, shagging. You know what it means, right?"

"I do, Sophie."

"And?"

"And what."

"Did I interrupt anything?"

"No, you didn't."

"Yet!" Declan says as he walks into the bathroom. 

"Ignore him" I reply, rolling my eyes. 

"Then why are you so red?" Sophie asks.

"I joined him and the boys at the gym and then when they were done training we played a little football game."

"Wait, they know?"

"Yep, he told them yesterday. I was starting to bore myself to death because I couldn't leave the apartment or do anything when they were here."

"And how did they react?"

"The new players freaked out a bit, they didn't know what to do or what to say."

"The usual around you, then" Sophie chuckles.

"Yeah... But the ones who were already playing for West Ham when Dec and I were together, were really happy to see me again."

"Because they also know you are meant to be" she smiles. "Have you talked about when you are coming back home? How long do you plan on living there?"

"I don't know. We've decided to spend the new year with Mason and Roberta because I haven't seen her in ages, but nothing else."

"I'm sure she'll love that. But then you could come over. Both of you. We all miss you, and you owe mum, dad and grandmama a chat."

"I know I do" I sigh. "Them, and Charles too. Do you know anything about him? David told me he left for Monaco."

"No, nothing. But he looked so gutted that night… Ellie, he loves you."

"I know he does. But I couldn't keep lying to him or myself. You know it better than anyone."

"I do, yes" Sophie sighs. "Anyway, I better go. Our beloved cousins have invited me to have tea with them and share gossip."

"Enjoy" I chuckle.

"Yeah, enjoy" she says, rolling her eyes. "Once we hang up you'll leave to go shag Declan, while I'll have to listen to Eugene talk for hours about her dog having problems going to the bathroom or how she's fallen in love with a new guy she's met twice."

"You'll be fine, Sophie. You can do it."

"I can, but I don't want to" she complains. "So you better enjoy your shagging, make one of us happy."

"Sophie, we aren't..." 

"Bye, sis. Love you!" she says with a big grin before hanging up.

"So... Are we shagging or not?" Declan says behind me.

"Jesus Christ, you scared me."

"Sorry. But are we shagging or not?"

"Can you all please stop saying that... word" I say as a turn around to look at him. He's leaning on the bathroom's door only wearing his boxers, his hair a perfect mess after training, his arms crossed over his chest and making his biceps pop. And all that while giving me that smile that he knows makes my insides melt. "We are shagging. We definitely are. But one thing" I say as I get up from the sofa. "Please stop using the word shagging."

"I promise, your Royal Highness" he smirks before lifting me in the air and throwing me over his shoulder, walking towards our room while I giggle like an idiot.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I'm so glad you could come, bro" Mason says, hugging Declan. "It must have been crazy these past days."

"It has, yeah. And it still is" he sighs.

"How long are you gonna be staying at Rush Green?" Roberta asks him. 

"I'm not sure. Eleanor has an event in a couple of weeks and they are planning on letting the press ask her questions so she can explain everything and stop all the bullshit, but she also wants to talk to Charles first."

"I wish she had come. I miss her so much..."

As Roberta says those words, someone rings the bell at Mason's house. 

"I'll get that" he says.

"Is anyone else joining us?" Declan asks.

"I don't think so. Mason asked around and everyone is either staying with their families or going to a party."

"Who could it be, then?"

"I... Eleanor!" Roberta yells, running towards her friend and hugging her.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Eleanor!" Roberta yells, running to hug me. "Oh, Ellie, I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too" I say, hugging her back. 

"Aren't they cute?" Mason smiles.

"Very" Declan replies.

"But what are you doing here?" Roberta asks. "Declan said you were staying with your family!"

"That was a little lie, we wanted to surprise you" I say, breaking our embrace. "Oh, shit. I think my hair has got tangled on something."

"Let me... There."

"What are you wearing on that hand?" I ask while scratching my head. "That actually hurt."

"Oh... I just... Umm... We got engaged!" she yells again, showing me the huge diamond on her hand.

"You what?" Declan and I say at the same time.

"Surprise!" Mason says with a shy smile.

"When did that happen?" I ask.

"And why didn't you tell me? I'm your best friend, Mase!" Declan says.

"I know, I know. We just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while, you know? And since you had enough on your plate already with what happened over Christmas..." he shrugs.

"But you could have told me you were planning on doing it! Ask me for advice when you went to buy the ring, about how to do it… I don't know!"

"I'm sorry, Dec. Please don't get mad."

"I'm not mad, I'm just... You are engaged!" Declan says, hugging his friend.

"I'm so happy for you, guys. But now I want all the details" I tell Roberta.

"Why don't we tell you everything while we have dinner? I don't want the risotto to get cold" she says, linking her arm with mine and starting to walk towards the kitchen. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Three, two, one... Happy new year!" we all scream, fireworks being heard all around us, the sky full of different shapes and colours. 

"I love you, future husband" Roberta says to Mason.

"I love you too, future wife" he replies before kissing her.

"Can I get a new year kiss too?" I ask Declan.

"Just one?" he says with a cheeky smile.

"I mean, making out with you to start the new year sounds perfect" I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. "And it is a bit cold here in the garden, it will definitely help me warm up. But doing it in front of Roberta and Mason..."

"They are too busy with each other, they won't care."

"Yeah, they won't" I chuckle.

"Making out session to start the year, then?" he says, gently brushing his nose against mine. 

"Making out session to start the year" I giggle. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Are you guys naked?" Roberta asks after knocking on the door.

"What?" I mumble. 

"What time is it?" Declan yawns.

"Guys, I need an answer. Are you naked or not?"

"Yes, but you can't see anything."

"Oh, great" Roberta says, storming into the room. "Because I don't want to see your dick first thing in the morning, Declan. That's not how you start the new year."

"That's how I've started the new year" I smirk.

"And you definitely enjoyed it. Have you always been that loud?"

"I… guess? But maybe you heard us because you aren't loud enough anymore. The boring married life has started" I tease her.

"Whatever" she says, rolling her eyes. "Breakfast is ready, so if you want to join us, you know where to find us."

"Thank you, Roberta" Declan says.

"And happy new year!" I laugh, lifting the duvet on his side and leaving him stark naked in front of her.

"Oh my God!" she screams before running away.

"Eleanor Victoria Alexandra!" 

"Yes?" I say, giving Declan my most innocent smile.

"I'm gonna have to do something with you. That behaviour isn't appropriate for the future Queen of England."

"Something like what?" 

"Remember that time you tied my hands with my belt?"

"I do. It is a very fond memory" I smirk.

"Well, it's time I get my revenge" he says, leaving the bed.

"It's been years, Declan! Time to move on!" I laugh. "What are you doing in the bathroom?"

"I needed this" he says, showing me the bathrobe's belt.

"And what are you going to do with that?" I ask, biting my lip in anticipation.

"Lay down. Hands over your head."

"Yes, sir." 

"That's perfect" he says after tying my wrists together. "Are you comfortable there or is it too tight?"

"I'm good."

"Great. Now open your legs. Wide" he orders me again.

"And now?"

"Now I'm gonna eat you out, and then fuck you until neither of us can't keep going. And you can't put your hands down. If you do, I'll stop or go so slow you'll start begging."

"That won't happen" I smirk.

"We shall see" Declan replies with a similar smile before disappearing between my legs.

[aphroditelovesu]

Another great chapter! What I really like is the contrast between how Perdiccas is handling things vs Reader. Perdiccas is being overridden by his passions and cant see the bigger picture while reader fully grasps the possible consequences and knows what the logical thing to do is. It goes against the whole 'WoMEn aRe toO EmOtIOnaL' and 'A wOMaN iS aLwAYs dRIvEn bY hEr oWN dESiReS' bullshit men like Aristotle have pushed since forever. Take that!

Also, I'm really liking Ptolemy. He's calm, rational, and knows somethings up. Perdiccas should probably listen to him (and Reader) more.

Now for the wedding! I'm sure it will be one for the history books 👀! And I have a few theories about the strange man and who he is, but I'll keep it to myself for now 🙊...

Take care, and I hope you're enjoying the new keyboard 😘!

--O-

I'm glad you noticed this! I wanted to do something that addressed this, that everyone thinks a woman's decisions are based on her emotions and not reason. Well, look who's being the emotional one!

Ptolemy is one of my favorites to write! He doesn't have an important role now, but he will be important and his obsession with the Reader is softer and more controlled. The only one who acts with reason, in general.

The wedding... I've already started writing and this wedding will be historic. Literally.

Oh? You have? 🤔 If you want to share, I'm listening. The mysterious man... Someone so important and we don't know who he is...

Take care too, anon! And I'm loving the keyboard! ❤️❤️

~ Lady L

[danidfordangercreativestuff]

gtafest valentine's day gift 2024

hiya, @hanajoyishere (i can't tag your blog for some reason)! here's your valentine's day gift for @gtafest. glad to see i'm not the only one who enjoys what tommy and lance had going on in vice city lol. that back stab hurt badly oml. i hope you enjoy this short piece i wrote. fair warning, it includes some homophobia since even though i like the idea of tommy having a thing for lance, i also think he would struggle with denial and internalized homophobia in general.

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. One of the first people I met when I came into town, one of the first guys who I considered a true friend, stabbed me in the back. The prick had taken the sharpest knife he could find, brandished it, and shoved it right through my back, spurting blood everywhere.

As I stand there listening to Lance speaking belligerently and even with some cockiness, I can’t help but take note of his appearance. Ever since I’d met him in that alleyway, I did actually think he was a good dresser. Even though I prefer dressing casual, even I can recognize a good suit when I see one. Not that that makes me a queer or anything. But…I also can’t deny that Lance is a good looking guy, and the way he carries himself, although annoying at times, is kind of charming in its own weird way. Too bad that was all bullshit at the end of the day. Earlier he looked playful and laid back, but now he’s just frowning and looking at me like this is his way of getting revenge on me. But why? Sure, I gave him a hard time here and there, but that was only because he needed to get off his lazy and ungrateful ass for crying out loud.

And then it hits me. He probably felt like he was being treated like crap under my shoes, like he was nothing compared to me. That’s not true, but he doesn’t know that. How could he? I’d be pissed too if someone talked to me like that. I’d string them up by their neck and watch them hang. But it’s not like I’m in love with the guy. Far from it. Being with Mercedes is all the proof needed to show that I’m straight. Who cares that I feel more connected to Lance and would charge into a fight with him no matter what. I ain’t no damn fag. Still, this hurts. More memories of us hanging out and talking come back to my mind: him laughing and me laughing along with him, us having each other’s backs when we took down that idiot Diaz, and me literally saving his life. Not to mention, why did he have to make that joke about us locking lips? Is he a fruit or something? 

Goddamn it, Lance…

Remorse for both what I did to him and what I know I have to do now washes over me. A part of me doesn’t want to do it, but another part is demanding that it must be done and that there's no other way, at least when it comes to being able to keep my sense of dignity and pride intact. I load my gun with a heavy heart.

I didn’t see this coming, but I should have, and now I have to deal with the consequences.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve finally caught up on all the Comedian’s Comedian podcast episodes I had downloaded. I’ve kept track of all the ones I’ve listened to in a spreadsheet, obviously. There are 68 of them. The list of them can very roughly serve as not a bad list of my favourite comedians, though it’s not perfect that way.

There are some comedians I quite like on TV and/or radio and/or podcasts, but haven’t seen/heard their stand-up, or in rare cases don’t much care for their stand-up, so I didn’t bother downloading their episode of this podcast since it’s mainly about stand-up. On the other hand, there are a few comedians on that list whose stand-up I don’t love all that much, but I think they’re smart and insightful and interesting, so I decided I do want to listen to them pontificate on a podcast about the art and industry of comedy for an hour. Also, there are a couple of people on this list whom I actively dislike, and listened to their episode out of a morbid curiosity.

It's also an incomplete list of my favourite comedians because not everyone has done the podcast, or they may have done it at the wrong time. There are a few comedians I really like, but they did their interview on this podcast before they'd made any of the stuff I'm into, so I didn't bother listening to them because I figured it wouldn't cover what I find interesting (ie. Daniel Sloss). And there are a bunch of comedians who just haven't done it at all.

Here is an incomplete list of comedians who have not been on the Comedian's Comedian podcast before, but if an episode featuring them came out tomorrow I'd definitely listen to it: Sam Campbell; Frankie Boyle; Adam Hills; Jon Richardson; I started this list on my phone and when I wrote "Jon" before "Richardson" the auto-complete thought I meant Jon Stewart, so sure, him too; John Oliver; Kitson obviously (wouldn't happen but I can dream, I'm sure Stuart Goldsmith also dreams of Daniel Kitson having a sudden change of heart about doing podcast interviews); Rachel and/or Ruby from Shelf; Douglas Adams and/or Sean Lock if they ever manage to hook podcast recording equipment up to a Ouija board; Lee Mack; Armando Iannucci; Nato Green; Huge Davies; Ed Night; Simon Amstell; Steve Hall; Kristen Schaal; Demitri Martin; one or both Conchords; Ian Smith; Kiri Pritchard-McLean; Gavin Osborn (he counts as an honorary comedian, okay?); Rhys James; Roisin Conaty; Danielle Ward; Sandi Toksvig; Sue Perkins; Guy Montgomery; Eleanor Morton.

I'm sure I'll pick through more episodes as time goes on, and as I get into more comedians. But I've really enjoyed these, I'm glad I did finally go back to it after getting mad at Stuart Goldsmith for some bullshit from nearly ten years ago and not listening for a while. I think the moment when I fully, 100% forgave Stuart Goldsmith occurred while listening to the Laura Davis interview; Laura was brilliant on it, that whole episode was one of the best, and Stuart Goldsmith was on especially good form. If that one absolute cunt from 2014 was so terrible during his interview that I not only had no respect for him but I also lost respect for Stuart Goldsmith just for being able to be in a room with that guy and not punch him - Laura Davis was the opposite. So fucking excellent that I gained even more respect not just for Laura, but for Stuart Goldsmith just because he could be around them and clearly recognize the genius in his presence.

Stuart Goldsmith is an excellent interviewer, everything else aside. I do love his style of treating the nerds as his target audience, aiming it at people who already know the basics so they can get beyond that right away. Being casual and conversational but also taking his craft seriously and using skilled tactics to get the best out of the interviewees, repeating a question if a comedian dodges it or tells a joke instead of properly answering. And he's always so prepared, takes the time to get to know someone's work quite well before interviewing them so he can ask intelligent and relevant questions. It sure makes it difficult by comparison to hear any of the other bland interviews that are out there and ask the same generic questions every time from someone who neither knows nor cares who they are.

[womenareonline]

A letter to someone I haven’t talked to in months

I wanted to write something about how it is hard to create something (art?) that involves someone else and try not to hurt them. When you want to express yourself and how you feel but someone else is involved in the process. Instead, I wrote this: something very personal about one specific person in mind. I am sorry, but sometimes we just do.

I moved to Barcelona around 6 months ago. Remember how I told you I had applied for a master’s degree? I went to see the Japanese House in Newcastle, one of those bands that not a lot of people know, and you probably haven’t. And on my way, I stayed in Manchester. I really like Newcastle, not so much Manchester. I take the bus at 10 pm to get back from uni. I took the night bus at 4 am to get back from a friend's house once. Sometimes I take the metro late at night back from my brother’s. That’s kind of rare back at home, remember how much anxiety it gave me? It was my birthday two months ago. I don't know if you remember or just ignored it. I turned 28. It hurt, to be honest. It really hurt when you didn't even text me. It hurt to think you just forgot. Did you even think about me that day? Do you even think about me? I am writing my thesis. It’s about memes. Who knew my trolling tendencies would get me to write an entire thesis? I did really well in my classes and I really enjoyed my thesis subject. I still get waves of depression, anxiety, and isolation. I’m trying to get better at that. I go on walks and force myself to do stuff I like. It’s all a bit easier here. It’s safer, sunnier and there is so much stuff I haven’t done yet. It’s very different than in Latam. I spend a lot of Fridays crying. Because I miss home or because I just feel a bit lost. I miss my family a lot. My sister got married. It’s funny because for a while I thought about inviting you. But then all of that happened… My other sister was here a few days ago and we spent some time in Paris. I also miss Coni. Lollapalooza Argentina is around the corner and I wish I could experience it with her. I talked to her all day and she replies within the day which I really need. Doesn’t take her a month. I saw the 1975 in Madrid and Paris. I know you don’t like them and just pretend you did for me. You probably hate Matty Healy because of the Taylor thing. That’s funny. I am better at that. Caring less about online discussions and bullshit. It truly doesn’t matter. In the end, none of it matters. Bet you are glad you no longer have to keep up with musicians you don’t know. Or pretend you like their music. Speaking of that, I'm still hurt at what you said when all of that went down. It really hurt. It hurt the way you grabbed my feelings and threw them to the ground. After all the talks we had, I thought you’d be better than that. I know you want to know about my love life because that’s all people like you want to know. I am taking my time to heal so I’m working on myself, I truly don’t want anyone to get in the way of that. Guarding my heart and mind. I don’t have much to say. But today I was leaving the Louvre crossing the road to walk by the Seine and I saw the Eiffel Tower. I was listening to You're Loosing Me by Taylor Swift and I realized you truly lost the best thing at any party, me. I mean look at everything I get to do. Look at everything I enjoy and the people I have. And you lost me.

[yinwaryuri]

Bad buddy and/or Kinnporsche for the show thingy please? ✨

Bad Buddy:

Favorite character: Pran

Funniest character: Pat and Pran, especially together

Best looking character: Pat, Ink

3 favorite ships: PatPran, InkPa, WaiKorn

Least favorite character: Ming

Least favorite ship: WaiPa (does anyone seriously ship that though?)

Reason why I watch it: Frankly, PatPran's choice to live their relationship on their own terms was inspired to me. They're the worst kept secret, but they really said "fuck you, we're doing this secret relationship for funsies now and whatever we're about is our fucking business." I LOVE THAT. I love the portrayal of Pat's bi awakening, it's so real to me. I love InkPa. I love Nong Nao and the fact Pat continues to sleep with him as an adult. I can't get enough of this show and my love for both the characters and the story.

Why I started watching it: I saw gifs of it on my dash and got really intrigued by PatPran. I had recently gotten a cancellation in another fandom and they seemed like a lot of fun and I'm glad I gave them a chance because they opened me to a side of queer media that I will be enjoying for years to come.

Also I made this MV and I'm really proud of it because it's such a mood lifter

Kinnporsche:

Favorite character: Pete, Vegas, Kim, Big

Funniest character: Porsche, Pete, PetePorsche

Best looking character: Vegas, Kim, Tay

3 favorite ships: VegasPete, KimChay, Kinn x Killing Korn

Least favorite character: Korn

Least favorite ship: ??????? Listen there's a lot of really good weird and freaky mixes here and they're all interesting to some level (TimeTay)

Reason why I watch it: this is the biggest mix of camp, sex, heartbreak, and the most bonkers bullshit you'll ever see and that's just the show. Wait until you hear about it's CONCEPTION. And the concerts??? Also, I have crushes on 15 men and one adopted son. I have daily meltdowns over VegasPete still. Bible Wichapas and Jeff Satur have ruined my life (and my camera roll). I've made amazing friends here.

Why I started watching it: I think I saw gifs of episode 2 and Porsche's inflatable tube man mannerisms were pretty fuckin great. But ultimately someone on my dash posted after episode 4 (I WILL FIND YOU WHIEVER YOU WERE SINCE I FORGOT) and I quote: "they had sex!!!!! dicks in butts" and I said yeah okay subscribing to iQiyi now.

Here's the VegasPete video I made that got me shadowbanned the first time I tried posting it!

[3vocatio]

peeped here out of curiosity (i know u have good takes and rb good/interesting takes + filtered words don’t work when viewing blogs and i’ve filtered every single om tag ever) and uknow what? while there’s aspects of the (supposedly) satan-focused i greatly enjoyed (mostly as writing inspo and just the enjoyment of the moment itself more than its part in the overall narrative tbh) i was endlessly frustrated by the fact that diavolo got the true highlight. i couldn’t place why the hell it made me so annoyed but you’re right—the real main character of the story was diavolo and it annoys the hell out of me that satan was painted as more of the bad guy. despite having the most screen time, satan felt like he was simply a means to an end, with the end being some way to show/remind the audience all of diavolo’s princely qualities that often get sidelines in favor of his usual behavior in events.

like. i greatly enjoyed seeing satan lose his shit to the point of terrifying crowds of demons. i liked seeing him lock himself away after to try and process everything by himself. the bits of vulnerability when mc finally manages to speak to him? love. (not that much of it is actually new info but i do enjoy that it’s there)

but the rest of everything else has me pulling at my hair. especially the ending… i wanted mc to ask for something that would be primarily to satan’s benefit after all the bullshit that happened. (and also satan thanking diavolo for giving mc his stars felt… idk. it felt like it encapsulated how a lot of the story key part felt; reminding us that diavolo’s the actual ‘hero’ here and not satan.)

ahdksjakdja so yknow. just some thoughts i wanted to send you. i didnt wanna log into my om blog even though i probably should for thoughts like this >.>;; once again a majority of my real fun came from rewriting everything, which i guess is something since almost all of the non-bday om content for the last several months hasn’t even gotten me inspired enough to bother rewriting anything.

/end yet another rant abt om content shdjssjs

hello...pretend i responded to this first /j

to validate what you mentioned, i also only enjoyed snippets of that event (though as we know, it's been like this for most obey me events for a long time); diavolo aside, witnessing satan compose himself with such sincerity and generousity felt like a blessing tbh. he knows his limits, he knows what upsets him and he should be listened to, even if he gets emotional about it. so what! most of us become emotional when defending something we hold close to our hearts, and satan was no different.

i've said this in the other ask you sent, but you came back right on time as the new lore-focused obm game has been announced! satan was one of their focal points that they mentioned, as well as lore surrounding the (pre & post) celestial realm, solomon, and the attic. it's gotten the entire fandom riled up including myself, and everything looks promising so far :)

i was wondering why the spacing between events in-game have been getting longer and longer, and i'm glad to know it's because they're putting importance on quality over quantity. they began making baby steps in the previous "single character-focused" events, but i'd like to mention that i am very satisfied with the release of simeon's new birthday event, especially when you compare it to the first one for symbolism reasons.

i won't go in-depth about it now unless someone asks me to share my thoughts, but it was the right amount of promising writing i needed to give me hope. for you specifically, satan didn't delve into any cat shenanegains and when he confronted lucifer & brought up a good point, he was acknowleged and listened to. everyone did such a good job...aaaa <3

[sleuthy-scientist]

Dead Men Don't Talk

*Just a quick, random one shot I wrote about a letter Douglas Bailey leaves for Emily.

Hope it's not too out of character I have only watched the first 2 episodes of this season.

Enjoy🙃*

Emily,

I am such an idiot and I know you will never forgive me when you find out the truth. That someone like you would ever be able to trust me again. I hate knowing I will disappoint you and cause you pain.

You were right, you have been right every step of the way. The things your theorized, the decisions you profiled. You Emily Prentiss are amazing.

I wish I had been brave enough to go against my orders from above. That I had listened to your insight instead of believe my own inexperienced opinions.

Obviously if you are reading this I am dead. I can guarantee you its through no fault of your own. I've seen firsthand how much you care and empathize, the dedication and effort you put forth.

You gave me the benefit of the doubt, you kept giving me chances to listen to you and make the right choices, follow the proper strategies to end this.

I thought I knew better, that I could handle it, that I had everything under control. I thought I saw the big picture and all the little details needed to make the FBI more efficient. But I was wrong, I got trying to translate my knowledge and skills where they didn't belong. I focused on the stupid details, listened to the wrong people, instead of who and what really mattered.

I know how this story ends for me, and I don't want you to feel guilty or place blame on yourself. I know without a doubt in my mind you did everything you possibly could to save me. That when people are in danger, you try and save everyone, even those not worth saving.

You will beat Sicarius, bring down his network and allies. I know because that's who are. You are a good person Emily, you will outwit him. You truly encompass and surpass the qualities the FBI stands for. I have never met anyone like you. Anyone so selfless, loyal, brave, strong, smart, gorgeous, and funny.

I get it now, why the rest of the BAU admires you so much. The are lucky to have you, you are a credit to your profession. You deserve to be the director of the FBI, to be running the show. Because you know how who people are and what they need. You don't put your ego and opinions above what is right or just.

You never wanted the accolades, attention, or applause and appreciation. You just wanted to make the world a better and safer place. I hate that you didn't get the credit you deserved and were used as a scape goat for the things you had no hand in. You should never have been used like that, by anyone. I know you don't want or need it, but I hope you get the credit and recognition you've more than earned.

Knowing you was everything. I can't believe what a dick I was to you. The political bullshit I used to believe was right and necessary. The way I tried to strong arm you without giving you the resources you needed and deserved to do your job.

I learned my lesson the hard way, I hope the Attorney General and other higher ups don't have to. I hope they finally listen to what you have to say and can take their own biases, egos, and selfishness out of the equation. You and your team are the ones with the knowledge and experience needed most now.

I didn't understand before what you and your people do. What your jobs entail, how you all manage to handle the ugly violence you deal with everyday. To be strong and brave enough to look evil in the eye and stop it. To try and get something resembling justice for those left behind.

I'm sorry Emily for this, for that, for everything I can't explain to you. I'm glad atleast if I'm dead I won't be there to see you lose you faith in me. You believed in me, and saw me in a way no body ever has before. You thought I was a better man than I gave myself credit for.

I hope my death isn't in vain, that it makes amends for my actions and helps you end this madness. That you get the bad guy. My greatest desire is that you find love and happiness for yourself. You deserve the world Emily, I wish I had been a better man to be able to give it to you.

Sincerely,

Douglas

P.S. For what it's worth, I stand with you Emily and the decisions you make going forward. I know they will be the right ones.